Things that I SHOULD do in 2012.

First of all, Happy New Year.

Second of all, in case I have never mentioned it before, I HATE it when people refer to the year as Twenty-Whatever.  I really do.  I don't know why.  I'm thinking about that now because as I was typing the title for the post, I thought "Twenty-Twelve" in my head.  And then I started cringing.  And ranting at myself.  Because that's what I do.

Anyway...

Here is a list of things that I know I SHOULD do in the upcoming year. 

• Exercise 5 times a week
• Start running.
• Eat healthier.
• Give up caffeine.
• Floss regularly.
• File my bills when I pay them, instead of letting a mound of paperwork pile up.
• Put away laundry right away, instead of letting a wall of laundry baskets pile up.
• Make a new chore chart for my kids.
• Make my kids ACTUALLY do the things on the chore chart.
• Read more to my kids.
• Play more with my kids.
• Nap more with my kids.
• Read my bible daily.
• Pray hourly.
• Do my bible study homework throughout the week, instead of cramming it all in the night before.
• Send out birthday cards ON TIME.
• Send out thank you notes ON TIME.
• Blog more.
• Write more.
• Whine less.
• Complain less.
• Watch less TV.
• Read more non-fiction.
• Weed my yard.
• Add "Weeding the Yard" to the kids chore chart.
• Volunteer at my kid's school.
• Get involved in another ministry at church.
• Use up the scrapbook supplies I bought in 2011 before going to Archivers again.
• Use up the scrapbook supplies I bought in 2010 before going to Archivers again.
• Earn more money.
• Spend less money.
• Be more crafty.
• Be more creative.
• Keep my room clean.
• Keep my bathroom clean.
• Add "Clean Mom's Bathroom" to the kids chore chart.
• Laugh more.
• Cry less.
• Be grateful every day.

So far I've already screwed up the birthday card one.  Sorry BH2.

Have a great 20-12.

Walmart

I think I finally figured out how Walmart makes its billions.

It's not from the fact they can sell 80 48" flat screen TVs in 1 hour at 1 location to stupid people that waited in line forever on Black Friday.

It's not from the fact that they can sell white grape juice for $2 a bottle less than any other store in the US.

They make their billions because when you live in the middle of nowhere, it is the only place that sells styrofoam balls. 

And you need to buy a styrofoam ball because your 6th grader needs to recreate the planet Mars in all its iron oxide glory.
 
And they charge TEN-FLIPPING-DOLLARS for them.

Now, I'm sure there may be some errors in my math, but according to the US Department of Education, there are 37.9 Million elementary students in the United States.

Since that number includes kindergarten, I'm going to divide 37.9 by 7.  (Assuming elementary is considered K-6 grade...which it isn't in my town, but it is where I grew up, and it's my blog, and I'm making a point, so don't be all detail oriented on me.)

37,900,000/7=5,414,285

If every 6th grader in the country was forced to go buy their foam ball at Walmart for $10, sales would be $54,142,850. 

Seeing as the cost of a styrofoam ball is probably about 14¢, that would mean that Walmart's gross profit on the sale of styrofoam balls is $53,384,850.10.

All they need is one or two science projects a year for every student in America, and BAM...they are the nation's Number 1 retailer.

This doesn't mean that I don't think science projects are important.  I mean, who can truly say that they have lived a fulfilling life if they haven't poured vinegar dyed with red food coloring over baking soda and called it a volcano. 

I'm just saying that I missed a chance to build a monopoly on styrofoam  balls in my town. 




This blog post was brought to you by Wikipedia and this blogger's overwhelming desire to escape the sounds of bickering children.

The Proverbs 31.0.1 Woman

I have so many problems with the book of Proverbs, Chapter 31. 

The woman described in these verses defies the laws of  motion, physics, gravity, and aging.

She is a highly organized, incredibly productive, extremely efficeint businesswoman, wife  and mother.

I hate her.

I've written about it HERE.

But now, I think I might have just leveled the playing field. 

Why?

Because now I have Siri.

I drank the koolaid, got an iPhone 4S, and now I have a personal assistant that can send texts, make calls, and remind me to tell my kids to pick up dog poop when they get home from school.

I don't care if the biblical woman did it all while carrying a cake of figs on her head.  I will become a multi-tasking machine.

After I catch up on all my Words with Friends games.

And look through Pinterest for a while.