Spinning Nowhere

Things that I SHOULD do in 2012.

2012-01-02T14:03:00.000-06:00

First of all, Happy New Year.

Second of all, in case I have never mentioned it before, I HATE it when people refer to the year as Twenty-Whatever. I really do. I don't know why. I'm thinking about that now because as I was typing the title for the post, I thought "Twenty-Twelve" in my head. And then I started cringing. And ranting at myself. Because that's what I do.

Anyway...

Here is a list of things that I know I SHOULD do in the upcoming year.

Exercise 5 times a week
Start running.
Eat healthier.
Give up caffeine.
Floss regularly.
File my bills when I pay them, instead of letting a mound of paperwork pile up.
Put away laundry right away, instead of letting a wall of laundry baskets pile up.
Make a new chore chart for my kids.
Make my kids ACTUALLY do the things on the chore chart.
Read more to my kids.
Play more with my kids.
Nap more with my kids.
Read my bible daily.
Pray hourly.
Do my bible study homework throughout the week, instead of cramming it all in the night before.
Send out birthday cards ON TIME.
Send out thank you notes ON TIME.
Blog more.
Write more.
Whine less.
Complain less.
Watch less TV.
Read more non-fiction.
Weed my yard.
Add "Weeding the Yard" to the kids chore chart.
Volunteer at my kid's school.
Get involved in another ministry at church.
Use up the scrapbook supplies I bought in 2011 before going to Archivers again.
Use up the scrapbook supplies I bought in 2010 before going to Archivers again.
Earn more money.
Spend less money.
Be more crafty.
Be more creative.
Keep my room clean.
Keep my bathroom clean.
Add "Clean Mom's Bathroom" to the kids chore chart.
Laugh more.
Cry less.
Be grateful every day.

So far I've already screwed up the birthday card one. Sorry BH2.

Have a great 20-12.

Walmart

2011-12-11T18:22:00.001-06:00

I think I finally figured out how Walmart makes its billions.

It's not from the fact they can sell 80 48" flat screen TVs in 1 hour at 1 location to stupid people that waited in line forever on Black Friday.

It's not from the fact that they can sell white grape juice for $2 a bottle less than any other store in the US.

They make their billions because when you live in the middle of nowhere, it is the only place that sells styrofoam balls.

And you need to buy a styrofoam ball because your 6th grader needs to recreate the planet Mars in all its iron oxide glory.

And they charge TEN-FLIPPING-DOLLARS for them.

Now, I'm sure there may be some errors in my math, but according to the US Department of Education, there are 37.9 Million elementary students in the United States.

Since that number includes kindergarten, I'm going to divide 37.9 by 7. (Assuming elementary is considered K-6 grade...which it isn't in my town, but it is where I grew up, and it's my blog, and I'm making a point, so don't be all detail oriented on me.)

37,900,000/7=5,414,285

If every 6th grader in the country was forced to go buy their foam ball at Walmart for $10, sales would be $54,142,850.

Seeing as the cost of a styrofoam ball is probably about 14¢, that would mean that Walmart's gross profit on the sale of styrofoam balls is $53,384,850.10.

All they need is one or two science projects a year for every student in America, and BAM...they are the nation's Number 1 retailer.

This doesn't mean that I don't think science projects are important. I mean, who can truly say that they have lived a fulfilling life if they haven't poured vinegar dyed with red food coloring over baking soda and called it a volcano.

I'm just saying that I missed a chance to build a monopoly on styrofoam balls in my town.

This blog post was brought to you by Wikipedia and this blogger's overwhelming desire to escape the sounds of bickering children.

The Proverbs 31.0.1 Woman

2011-12-08T20:09:00.001-06:00

I have so many problems with the book of Proverbs, Chapter 31.

The woman described in these verses defies the laws of motion, physics, gravity, and aging.

She is a highly organized, incredibly productive, extremely efficeint businesswoman, wife and mother.

I hate her.

I've written about it HERE.

But now, I think I might have just leveled the playing field.

Why?

Because now I have Siri.

I drank the koolaid, got an iPhone 4S, and now I have a personal assistant that can send texts, make calls, and remind me to tell my kids to pick up dog poop when they get home from school.

I don't care if the biblical woman did it all while carrying a cake of figs on her head. I will become a multi-tasking machine.

After I catch up on all my Words with Friends games.

And look through Pinterest for a while.

Random Thoughts XIX

2011-12-06T10:23:00.001-06:00

It's been a while...for a lot of things. I seem to have fallen out of several routines in recent months...blogging and exercising being the two predominant ones. So in the spirit of getting back on the wagon, I will bring you some random thoughts whilst doing jumping jacks.

Well, not really. I tried jumping jacks last week. Without a bra. Frightening. There are indeed things that can not be unseen.

Anyway...here we go...

Dysfunctional Family Bingo Redux

Do you know of DFB? If not, please click here. Believe me, it's worth the time.

After discussing this coping mechanism with friends in the aftermath of Thanksgiving and various other family get togethers, I feel the need to adapt the game a bit.

See, even when you try and expect annoying things to happen at gatherings, every once in a while, someone attending will do something so UNPRECEDENTEDLY STUPID that it knocks the wind out of you. I'm not talking about 'starting the garage on fire while deep frying a turkey' stupid. I am referring to 'mean, hurtful and disrespectful' stupid.

Since beating them over the head with a fried turkey leg probably isn't acceptable, I recommend adding a free square in the center. I'm working on a cute and clever name for the square, but for right now I think it should be just labeled: PRAY! Because that is all you can do. Hug the person that is playing Bingo with you, because he or she is probably reeling from the stupidity attack as well, and they need a hug as well as you. Say a quick prayer and move on.

Pinterest is the new Farmville

I've mentioned my addiction to Farmville in a post at the end of September. I'm pretty excited to announce that within a few weeks of posting that, I deleted the app, and haven't gone back. Even this morning when Zynga sent me an email that there is now some kind of Winter Wonderland farm now...I resisted. I wasn't even interested. I actually haven't missed it.

And I also resisted peeking at Pinterest.com for many many many months. Especially as my friends around me were getting sucked in. "I got this recipe off Pinterest." "Did you see this crochet hat on Pinterest?" "Blah blah blah blah blah blah Pinterest!!" I didn't look. Didn't look. Didn't look. But then my SIL sent me an invite, and I looked.   The End.

If you don't know what it is...don't ask. It is supposed to be a clever way to organize your favorite things that you find online. Great sayings, delicious recipes, cool craft ideas. You can post your own, and also explore other people's "pins".  What it ends up being is countless hours of browsing all sorts of creativity and empty promises.

It's an awesome site. There are so many creative people out there, and most of the things posted on there are amazing.  Please do not thing that I'm dissing the site itself.

I'm just dissing my reaction to it.

I now have about 50 gift ideas that have been added to my already overflowing list of "Things that I should do". And instead of actually doing any of the things on the list, I just keep adding to it. Or should I say pinning. It's never ending.

Here are a few observations about Pinterest:

There apparently is no end to the number of things that you can dip a balloon in, or glue to a balloon to create awesomeness.
There apparently is no end of the number of things that you can glue to a board in the shape of your favorite letter.
There apparently is no end to the number of things you can make out of crescent rolls.
Melting old (or new) crayons is fun.
Pinterest people love Dr. Who and Harry Potter. Twilight, not so much.
There is a fascination with mustaches that I don't understand.
There is a fascination of Jake Gyllenhaal in a bubble bath that I kind of understand.

Want to drink the koolaid? Let me know...I'll invite you!

Posts of Wisdom

I've been following Michael Hyatt's blog for a while now. He has had several recently that have really struck a cord. You should check them out.

How to Compost your Failures, a guest post by Mary DeMuth
The Difference Between Trying and Doing
Embracing Plan B

So...what have you been up to?

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T09:46:00.001-06:00

It seems like posting all the things you are thankful for is all the rage today, so I decided to be a lemming and play along...

On this Thanksgiving I am thankful for...

my husband. I have officially known him for 20 years and 3 days now. He has stuck with me through my crazy, I have stuck with him through his moody. I'm starting to think this might not be a rebound relationship after all.
the fact that I have a friend that would force feed her family diet coke just to make me the perfect cupcakes, and for also bringing along some cupcakes without frosting.
a house full of healthy kids.
the fact that God saw fit to give me a second set of kids that I didn't realize I wanted.
the fact that my emergency fund was in place to cover this month's vet bill, heating repair bill and a new tire.
the fact that my Mom let me invade her kitchen so that cooking a turkey ain't no big deal.
the turkey roasting guide that my Grandma had, so that I can cook a turkey in 2 1/2 hours.
days off, even if they involve a bazillion dishes.
the fact that my Dad is doing really well after hip surgery.
facetime.
technology.
stuffing.
green bean casserole.
Christmas movies on Lifetime.
my ~~woolly mammoth~~ dog Inga.
chalk boards.
the fact that I get a chance every day to start over and do better.

Happy Thanksgiving...you are blessed. We all are.

The Great Highlighting Experiment

2011-11-13T18:06:00.001-06:00

So my brother is an atheist.

He's not a hard-core atheist though, because we still have to buy him Christmas presents.

He has mentioned before that we as a family don't discuss it with him, and that his beliefs are a big elephant in the room. Now I can't speak for anyone else in my family, but I can tell you with 100% honesty that I haven't had a conversation with about it because he is a better debater than me. I do not have the ability to keep my emotions out of confrontations or heated discussions, and therefore I've been a total chicken on the subject. Pray for him regularly, definitely. Discuss it with him...no freaking way.

Also, I grew up watching my Dad and his siblings deal with their disagreements by yelling and bickering...and my brothers and I made a pact many years ago that no matter what...we would resolve stuff and keep in touch. So I have chosen to deal with my brother's atheism the old school way...

Avoidance.

BUT...I do have to admit that the journey that he has taken to analyze his beliefs has convicted me of areas of my faith that I need to work on.

One of these areas reading the bible. He had a very good point in one of his blog posts. Many (if not most) Christians have not read the entire bible. I'm guilty. I've tried several times, but I get to Deuteronomy and my mind goes numb and I just give up. Doesn't matter that I've read thousands of pages of books in recent years. I've read all the Twilight, Harry Potter, Tom Clancy and Francine Rivers books...yet I can't seem to get through the single book that is God's handbook for my life.

...sigh...

Yet, I'm pretty sure that I've read most of the bible. And there are probably passages that I have read hundreds of times.

So this July, I commenced 'THE GREAT HIGHLIGHTING EXPERIMENT". It's not that great, and it's not much of an experiment, but I did want to see how much of the bible I actually read.

I started highlighting every verse that I was directed to through my personal bible study, and through the group one that I do weekly. (I have to use some sort of guided bible study for my daily quiet time...I can't do the whole bible roulette thing...I get too distracted)

Looking back, I wish I had some sort of game plan when I started this. My anal-retentive side is a little annoyed that I have all different colors. I usually just use whatever highlighter is handy. And sometimes, especially if I'm curled up on the couch, my lines are pretty messy. I'm trying to ignore it. And I didn't think of highlighting verses discussed in sermons or our small group until a few months in...and I'm trying to resist the urge to go back and find all those sermons online so I can mark them too. I read them on the screen, they should count, right?

Serenity now.

Ultimately, I want to see how much of the bible I actually read in a year. I realize that the better challenge would probably have been to read the whole thing...but I have a need to justify that even though I might not have read every "begat" section, that I still have a pretty strong grasp of the bible as a whole.

And this way, I get to play with highlighters every day.

I'm guessing that at the end of June, I'll see what I've done and challenge myself to read all the un-highlighted portions. But I'm really hoping that at the end of the year most sections will be florescent pink or green or whatever color was handy, and I can tell my brother that no...I have not read the whole thing, but I have surely studied those parts and made them a part of my life.

Thank you Anita Renfroe

2011-11-01T12:00:00.000-05:00

So I'm sitting here at my desk, minding my own business when suddenly out of nowhere I get an email from my husband with just one line:

Can I buy you Anita Renfroe tickets?

Silly silly man with a silly silly question.

Why certainly darling...of course you can!

So on October 16th I got to sit in the 2nd row at the Marion (IL) Civic Center and try not to squirt while laughing. It was a great night. I took along my friend Crystal, and a good time was had by all.

I got to meet her afterwards too. Anita, not Crystal, because I already knew Crystal and made her drive. Crystal got to meet her as well. I let her come with me. She apparently is now the person that comes with me when I go to meet famous people. And I'll get to that in a minute. Because there is some good stuff there, the meeting Anita Renfroe part. So be patient...don't skip to the end.

Do you have any semi-defining moments in your life? Those times that when you look back on them, you know the single moment that a spark ignited a dream, whether you were paying attention or not? I remember the moment my Big Dream started. I was sitting in the nose-bleed section at my first Women of Faith conference, and I was listening to Patsy Clairmont speak. She told about her agoraphobia, and had me in tears laughing as how God worked in her heart and her life to help her manage her fear. I think she was around 35 at the time. As I sat there in the nose bleed seats, at a ripe old 35 years myself, I had a flash of excitement thinking "I'm not to old...maybe someday I can do that too." In the days and weeks after that conference, I held on to that thought, until the day to day realities of life set in, and I convinced myself it wasn't going to happen.

Especially when I wasn't a "real" church lady. I had a smart-alec, sarcastic side that always seemed to come out at the wrong moment, and wasn't always appreciated. Also, it was just so dang hard to be nice all the time. It's exhausting! The majority of the population just doesn't understand that.

Fast forward a year or two, and I'm back at Women of Faith. (I went several years in a row, and I'm sorry to say that they all kind of blend together now.) This time, there is this comedienne in the group named Anita something or other. Never heard of her. Didn't know what to expect.

SHE. CRACKED. ME. UP!!

She was funny, she was a woman of God, and she had a smart-alec, sarcastic side that was used to bring laughter into the lives of thousands and thousands of women. I mean, if you ever heard her in person, or if you were at that particular Women of Faith conference, you think of her EVERY SINGLE TIME you go into a public washroom and they have those paper toilet seat covers. That is staying power. Comic gold. So God apparently does use smart-alecs for his work. Good to know.

I apparently talked about her a lot afterwards because even almost 5 years later, when Tom saw that she was going to be nearby, he got me tickets.

And we went to see her. And she was funny. And if she is coming to a town near you, or you have an opportunity please go and see her. Here's the link for AnitaRenfroe.com or look her up on youtube or something.

Anyway...on to the gift that she gave me:

So, because of the super-special tickets my darling husband got me, we had the chance to meet Anita afterwards. We waited in line for about 20 minutes, and I noticed something odd. The guy that was taking pictures for everyone was holding the camera up at an odd angle, and Anita was kind of leaning forward, twisted and squatting just a bit. I realized that she was posing so that she could look as slim as possible.

I've seen my sister in laws do this. (The two that are so slender anyway that when they turn to the side, you almost can't see them). I always found it annoying that whenever we took family pictures, my SILs looked all slender and gorgeous, and I...the one who needed the super secret slimming pose the most...was always distracted by my children, and ended up with a full on photo that seemed to accentuate my butt and thighs.

Anyway, I knew what she was doing but apparently when I get a chance to meet someone that is famous and that I totally admire, I'm too worried about being sophisticated, witty and memorable, and not how big my thighs will look afterward. (It is very similar to being distracted by children in a family picture.)

See what I mean??? Look how cute she is!! Look how great Crystal looks! Look at how my thighs could have their own zip code!!! ...sigh...

Well, all this came together for good a week later when the Bacon Lover's and I finished our 1/2 marathon. Afterwards, while we were milling around, I took an incredibly unflattering picture of my friend Meg. It was because I was looking up at her, and she was fully facing the camera. In that moment, since I was not distracted by anyone famous, everything came back to me, and we all had our pictures taken a la Anita's pose.... here's mine...

Look at that. Same girl, same camera angle, slightly twisted, slightly squatting and leaning forward...dropped 50 lbs instantly!

We all did one. They will forever be known as our Anita Renfroe pictures. Here is Noel taking a picture of Chrisy taking Angie's picture...

We obviously have too much time on our hands.

Anyway, Anita...thank you for a wonderful evening. Thank you for using your God given sense of humor for good, and not evil...and most importantly...thank you for teaching us how to lose 50 lbs without exercise.

I HATE YOU!

2011-10-28T10:13:00.000-05:00

I HATE YOU!!!

Every mother hears that at one point or another. If you haven't heard it yet, brace yourself...it's coming. If your children are older and you still haven't heard it...you are either in denial...or you need hearing aids.

...just saying...

I've found that there are varying degrees of hate from your kids, and the effects are vastly different.

Level 1 is when the kid is clearly hormonal, and you are in a tranquil state. (and by tranquil, I mean fully caffeinated and not pms-ing) Level 1 hate merely results in a slight chuckle.

Level 5 is when both you and the kid are emotional and angry, and you both want to throttle each other. This kind is just amplified by the already existing emotions, you both know it's not meant, and can be resolved with a chat and a hug and a shared cookie or something.

Level 10 is the kind that kicks you in the gut, really hurts, and stays with you for hours. It usually occurs when there is some kind of life lesson being played out with the kid. Teaching responsibility, or consequences or the need to respect your parents. When it's said at these times, it kind of, sort of breaks your heart just a bit, because you know that this one isn't going to be resolved quickly...even if the kid ever "gets" what your side was.

Having been a kid myself, way way back in the dark ages, I think that those moments of Level 10 hate effect the kids too. I distinctly remember when I spewed that venom at my Mom. I'm really sorry Mom.... I didn't know then what it did to your heart.

Thankfully, the effects can be minimized a bit by a Medium Non-Fat Latte with 3 pumps of Hazelnut and light Whip. And by blowing off work for a few hours and hitting an estate sale. And finding some really awesome pieces of old metal office storage.

...sigh...

...but only minimized...

It's not over until the fat lady walks a 1/2 marathon...

2011-10-24T15:13:00.001-05:00

So we finally did it yesterday. 5 months of walking, whining, ibuprofen, walking, encouragement, discouragement, walking, new shoes, falls, stress fractures, blisters, rusty nails, whining, fund raising, bragging, walking, spi-belts, walking and whining is finally over.

Our Bacon Lovers (anonymous) team headed down to the Gateway City to do the very first ever Rock-n-Roll St. Louis 1/2 marathon. We got up at the ungodly hour of 4am to get dressed and head to St. Louis. All chipped up and ready to go.

HERE'S A TIP: if you ever decide to do a 1/2 marathon with a group of women, I highly suggest that you pick your group very carefully. Make sure that at least one of the members has a cottage available that has sleeping for everyone, and is 15 minutes closer to your destination. Otherwise you have to get up at 3:45am or pay for a hotel room. Lucky for us, this just happened by chance. Also, it doesn't hurt to make sure that one of the women in your group is an athletic trainer...that way you get to ask all sorts of injury and stretching related questions for free. Again...we were lucky!

After our journey to the big city, we parked and made our way down to the event area. We took an obligatory group picture in front of an obligatory big building with an obligatory huge race sign.

ANOTHER TIP: If you decide to do a 1/2 marathon with a group of women, put something about bacon on the front of your shirts. It is a huge conversation starter because really...Who doesn't like bacon??? That way, people are more than willing to take your group pictures when they know that you actually have post-race bacon in a bag at gear check.

We made our way to our corral and just stood around until it was our turn to start. We updated facebook, text our families, tried to keep the jitters to a minimum, and chatted with runners around us (mostly about bacon, and how we came to have it on our shirts). There were beach balls bouncing around the corrals, but every time I tried to capture a picture, the guy in front of me kept moving, so didn't get a good one.

YET ANOTHER TIP: If you decide to do a 1/2 marathon with a group of women, and half of you are attention seeking divas, make sure you maneuver your group to stand on the corral at the same side as the announcers, so that as your corral gets up to the starting line they will talk about bacon and your t-shirts, so that you become slightly famous for a whole 15 seconds.

The course was great, and the organizers did a great job. Although since this is my first ever 1/2 Marathon, I really had nothing to compare it to. But I was impressed. There were bands playing along the route, and groups of cheerleaders that were so encouraging. There were also hundreds of random spectators out and about. Since part of the course went through residential neighborhoods, there were people having parties in their front yards. There were a couple of guys on the side of the street in recliners with coolers of beer. It was pretty funny. I was amazed how many people came out to support the runners and walkers. Some favorite signs I saw along the way:

I don't know you, but I'm proud of you.
You have sexy calves.
Chafe now, Brag later
and my absolute FAVORITE: Worst. Parade. Ever! (held by a 3 year old boy)

We saw these girls a few times on the route. I loved the fact that their bells didn't clang. I don't really understand the whole cow-bell thing. Does the sound of a cowbell ringing make people run faster? Or is just to move us along like a bunch of cattle?

Again, having Bacon Lovers on the front of the t-shirts got us all a lot of attention. People were randomly yelling "BACON!" at us along the way. The back of the shirts were cute too, but apparently no-one else has thought of this phrase yet, so don't tweet it or use it until I've copy-written it so that I can make bazillions of dollars.

We all finished the race, got medals, and of course had to celebrate with a round of bacon. Because that's how we roll.

It was a great event, and a great weekend spent with a group of great women. Out of the 8 of us, 6 were first time 1/2 marathoners, 8 of us ran parts of it, and we ALL went above and beyond what we thought possible 5 months ago. And yes, I will do it again.

PS...I would like to thank Anita Renfroe for this pose that makes me look about 50 lbs lighter than I am. Did I tell you that I actually got to meet her last week? Details (and a highly edited picture of my thighs) to follow...

I hate my scale

2011-10-09T11:31:00.000-05:00

I really really really hate my scale.

I'm sure that this is not an unusal feeling.

I'm sure that I'm not the only person in the world that wants to drop their scale from the top of a very tall building.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to detonate it with something.

I'm sure I'm not the only person that is obessive compulsive about their scale
...checking it before a bathroom break and after
...checking it after a shower, before getting dressed
...checking it in the middle of the afternoon
...checking it before bed
...checking it first thing in the morning

I hate the fact that my jeans are getting looser, but the scale doesn't change.

I hate the fact that it goes up 5 lbs and the only thing I had was coffee.

I hate the fact that when I step on it, it is mean and cruel and keeps flashing a lower weight before the digital reading finally stops blinking and tells me I should not have had that Pumpkin Pie Blizzard from DQ.

I hate the fact that I'm still trying to get rid of the effects of those Pumpkin Pie Blizzards from DQ that I ate in 2009.

I do have to say though that it's kind of nice that my "heavy" number is now significantly lower than my "light" number 2 months ago.

Hopefully the same will be true 2 months from now.

I'm done ranting.

A Dirty Little Secret

2011-09-30T10:26:00.001-05:00

I'm a pretty straight forward person. I'm pretty honest about my character flaws. I'm pretty open about the bits of myself that I know are crazy.

Yet, I still have a secret.

It's my hidden shame.

It's a taboo addiction.

It's a secret I don't like to talk about at parties. I don't like to talk about it at home either.

No, it's not that I really like beef jerky and pork rinds. While questionable, those things are not nearly this embarrassing.

...sigh...here goes...

Hello, my name is Stephanie...and I'm addicted to Farmville.

Yes, that is 'me', hiding in a crop of tomatoes. I started playing this ridiculously stupid game shortly after it came out.

I've quit twice. Completely walked away and let everything wither for months on end.

But I came back both times.

I'm pathetic.

But I don't care. I love the neat rows of crops. I love harvesting my orchards. I love crafting puppy kibble. I can't help myself. It is something that I've tended and nurtured for...I can't believe I'm admitting this...I've tended and nurtured my 'farm' for 2 years. It is a highly organized, extremely efficient thing of beauty.

But you don't care. Neither do my kids. Especially not my husband. My love of Farmville is a complete disappointment to him...that I completely understand...I'm pathetic.

That's why I didn't tell anyone a few weeks ago that I had mastered ALL the regular crops. This is a huge thing, and I should have at least celebrated with a marching band and some cheerleaders...but alas no...I placed my Amaranth sign on my home farm with nary a celebratory comment. Kind of like when Crash Davis set the minor league record for hits in Bull Durham. But at least Crash had Annie to realize it and celebrate with him in silence. I got nothing...sigh...

So yes, I'm pathetic. Yes, I know you don't care and that you find my requests for horse tiaras in your news feed annoying. It is what it is. I am what I am.

Now send me a bale of hay so I can finish this stupid livestock pen.

Random Thoughts XIV

2011-09-26T20:47:00.001-05:00

I think I actually like Mondays

I realized this morning that I actually like Mondays. At least Monday mornings. Yeah, it's a drag having to get everyone up and going after a weekend of nothingness, but there is something about a Monday morning that always inspires me. I'm generally filled with hope and motivation. The whole week stretches before me and the possiblities seem endless. I start the week with a brand new to-do list, and the determination that THIS IS THE WEEK when I'm going to get my act together.

The feeling usually only lasts until lunch. Then the rush of productivity wears off, and I'm ready for a nap. Forget the to-do list...I have a whole week to get stuff done.

And the cycle continues.

My happiness is complete!

I moved to the Middle of Nowhere 9 1/2 years ago. Over time, there are a bunch of things that I forgot I used to enjoy. When we first moved, I would search for things at the grocery store and come up empty handed. The selection in rural Illinois just isn't what you can get in the State of Chicago. I would keep a list and try and pick things up when I visited my parents. As time went by, I would forget to make the list and then I just wouldn't remember. Except for one thing: Marzetti Peanut Butter Carmel Dip. Every fall, as I grocery shopped, I would look for it...hoping beyond hope that this little tub of heaven had finally reached Nowhere. And every fall, I wouldn't find it. Until this weekend...and low and behold...it was here..in Greenville...at the IGA. I resisted the urge to buy every container they had.

I'm sure you can do all sorts of fancy stuff with this dip, but all you really need is an apple and a spoonful of dip. Or 2 apples. But then you run out of dip for the second apple, so you need more dip. But then you have too much dip so you need another apple. But then you will need more dip.

And the cycle continues.

I'm sick of walking

The St. Louis Rock n Roll Half Marathon is less than a month away. The BL(a)s and I are still getting ready for it. Since we have been training since May, I can officially declare that I believe we have walked on every street in Greenville. I don't even need to use my Smartrunner tracker on my phone anymore, because I can pretty acurately estimate distances right now. (And the fact that the stupid thing WON'T TRACK ANYMORE...grrrr!!!) I don't mind the actual walking part. I actually enjoy the exercise, and I'm pretty proud of the fact that I now consider walking 4 miles is an easy morning. That wasn't how I felt in May. There was much whining back then. There is still whining now, but it's a more refined kind of whining. As our 'long' walks get longer, it's harder to map out.

I'm tired of getting up at 5am every morning. Doesn't matter if it's a rest day...by internal clock wakes up at 4:55am. Yet, it's the best time of day for me to walk. It doesn't interfere with getting the kids up and ready for school. It doesn't interfere with work. By doing it first thing in the morning, I'm not going to be able to mastermind some elaborate excuse as to why I can't walk later in the day. But it's dark. And it's getting chilly out. And my bed is cozy. And I don't want to get out of it.

See, I told you it was a more refined whining.

Now I need to figure out what my fitness goals are for AFTER the Half. I know myself, and know that I need to have something to plan for and work towards. I also know that the last 2 winters, I have gained back all the weight I lost over the previous summer/fall. If that happens again, I'm slitting my wrists. I'm too old to go through all this work, all this turmoil, all this denial of Dairy Queen to gain all the weight back again.

So I'm thinking about what I'm going to do next. And I think I know what it is. It is something that I absolutely hate to do. I hate it with a passion that can not be described with the English language. Yet it's all I can think about lately. It is something that I fear more than God sending me as a missionary to Africa.

I think I'm going to start running.

Kill. Me. Now.

I need more dip.

And the cycle continues....

Live Blogging the Emmys

2011-09-18T18:56:00.001-05:00

9:58 Outstanding Comedy: I want Big Bang to win, but I'm betting it's Modern Family. Gee...surprise surprise!
I'm going to bed.

9:51 Outstanding Drama: Mad Men. I love this show, but I was kindof hoping that Friday Night Lights would win.

9:41 I think Kate Winslet is crazy happy. I'm still bored though. I'm glad her boobs didn't fall out of her dress.

9:26 In Memoriam...my favorite part...am I twisted or what?

9:25 Still bored. I can't believe Paula Abdul is going to get a swag basket for putting on a suit and saying "I can't balance" There is no justice in the world.

9:18 I think awards shows would be shorter if they didn't have so many commercials. I also didn't see Mildred Pierce. Can't bring myself to pay for HBO. It was better when we just had it for free for no reason. I'm kindof bored now.

9:01 Best Actor: Kyle Chandler please....and the emmy goes to KYLE CHANDLER!!!!! Who Whoo! Coach Taylor. Friday Night Lights is one of the best shows that's not anymore. He totally deserves this. Anyone remember Homefront? I crushed on him back then.

8:57 Best Actress: Elisabeth Connie or Julia....those are my faves....Juliana! I love The Good Wife. I'm not sure I like the dress. I don't want to be a hater, but...what the heck are those magnifying glasses stuck on there with?

8:49 just finished putting the two little kids in bed, and reading another chapter of Flat Stanley in Space. What did I miss??

8:20 I think Jimmy Falon might be plotting Jon Stewarts death...just sayin. Congrats on your 9th win Daily Show. It's getting old now though...you should share next year.

8:15 Lonely Island and Michael Bolton...umm...I really have no idea what's going on here...apparently I'm over 30 and not cool. That was pretty stupid. Or I'm over 30 and not cool.

8:06 Writing in a Variety: These entrys are always cute...I like Jimmy Falon's puppies. And the emmy goes to #2 on my list...Jon Stewart!

8:03 Outstanding Reality Competition: If Top Chef doesn't win I'm going to slit my wrists....and for the record, I hate Dancing with the Stars....Amazing Race AGAIN???? for real? They always win. I wanted a Blaize sighting tonight :(

7:57 Office Segment: Pretty funny. Liking that Ce-Lo's chair wouldn't spin.

7:45 Amy Pohler just ran up on stage. This is one of those things that is probably planned, but I'm loving it anyway! This is one big group of talented women. Will there be a fight when one doesn't win??? I hope so! There's so much love up there right now....Melissa McCarthy...whoo whoo! She looked totaly shocked! There's a crown...totally planned, but funny none the less!!!!

7:41 Charlie Sheen is in the house. Nice guilt trip Charlie. You still look a mess. I want The Big Bang Theory to win something. Crossing fingers...Whoo Whoo!! Jim Parsons!! I would like you to know that I've been watching Big Bang since the beginning. I'm not a Bandwagon Jumper...like I will be with Modern Family.

7:33 I guess I'm going to have to start watching Modern Family. I think I've only watched one episode. It was funny.

7:25 Ricky Gervais...he's so misunderstood! He and his fellow "countrymen"

7:20...I have to get kids in the bath, and ready for bed,...brb

7:18 I love you Juliana Marguiles...but my son JD just said...DANG! Is that the lady from The Good Wife? Why isn't she wearing make up???

7:15 Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy: Julie Bowen, Modern Family. Nice abs Julie. Those are abs and not boobs, right? Hey, we have the same anniversary!

7:13 Jimmy & Jimmy...what a bromance

7:10 Not sure about the Emmytones. I love Zachary Levi, but really?

7:09 The opening number wasn't worth a standing ovation.

7:01 Spock is looking old
I'm not sure about this opening musical number...I'm a bit afraid
OK...sheldon has redeemed it! "I hate it when musical numbers come through the living room"
This wasn't as horrible as I thought. Wait...i was wrong.

7:00 Here we go

I love TV. I love award shows. By the transitive property of equality, I love award shows about TV. Check back to see my take on tonight's Emmy Awards.

Thankful

2011-09-16T11:50:00.001-05:00

I am thankful today. Here is a list in no particular order:

I am thankful for Fall. Or Autumn. Whatever you call it, I'm thankful for it.
I am thankful for the first time you get to put a sweater on in the Fall-tumn.
I am thankful for Aquafina Lip Balm.
I am thankful for espresso. Especially in the form of a Large Non-Fat Hazelnut Latte.
I am thankful that I found a $5 bill in the bottom of my purse to spend on a Large Non-Fat Hazelnut Latte.
I am thankful for a friends that get up early to go exercise with me.
I am thankful that I got up early to go exercise so that I don't have to think about exercise until tomorrow morning.
I am thankful that I have 4 healthy children.
I am thankful that my 4 healthy children were all at school today so that I could have a few hours to work in quiet.
I am thankful that while working in quiet that I actually worked, and did not get distracted by facebook and words with friends. Well...didn't get distracted TOO much.
I am thankful that I had 'just add water' pancake mix in the pantry so that the kids didn't notice that there wasn't any milk this morning.
I am thankful that I have money to go grocery shopping today.
I am thankful for generous friends who have given me hand-me-down jeans to wear.
I am thankful for the person who designed the hand-me-down jeans that I am now wearing...because I can bend over, and not worry about my butt crack showing.
I am thankful for ibuprofen.
I am thankful that after some grocery shopping and ibuprofen that I might get take a nap today.

What are you thankful for?

Death by To-Do List

2011-09-13T16:15:00.000-05:00

I feel like I'm being strangled by my to-do list lately.

All the things that I want to do I don't do because I should do what I have to do.

Shoo be do be do.

There are several posts rattling around in my head right now...but the are being held hostage by the to-do list.

In the mean time, here are two completely cool videos that I watched this week. Check out the links.

If sometimes you feel like a nut:
(from Stuff Christians Like)

If some times you don't:
(from an email from my husband)

Defining a Prodigy from Elevation Church on Vimeo.

The Truck that Broke iCarly

2011-09-04T20:57:00.001-05:00

If you don't have younger kids, you may have absolutely no idea who or what iCarly is. I know though. Her name is really Miranda Cosgrove, and she is the star of the Nickelodeon show iCarly, and I have 2 sons that have had major crushes on her.

And these are some pictures of the truck that broke her.

Or more correctly, these are pictures of the trailer that had just overturned on I-70, and her tour bus crashed into. (Her bus is covered with the blue tarp behind the trailer)

This happened last month, so it's not news anymore, not really. Unless you are Miranda Cosgrove, and have a cast on your foot. Or if you are one of the fans who had to get a refund on her cancelled concert tour dates. Or if you were one of the other people injured in the accident. Then it's probably still something you are thinking about. But for the rest of us, it's not really news anymore.

So why am I writing about this?

Because I have driven by this trailer at least 10 times in the last month. It's just sitting there in a parking lot in Vandalia. Broken in half. Most people probably don't even realize what it is. But I do. I've seen it on my way to church, and on my way to grocery shop, and on my way to the McDonald's in Vandalia to get a McDiet. And every time I see it, I think 'That's the truck that broke iCarly'

It just seems so bizarre.

Our own little brush with infamy.

I mean seriously, how often does YOUR town in the middle of nowhere get mentioned on TMZ? (Or more correctly, the town that is near your town where you do your grocery shopping? No-one famous gets broken in Greenville.)

So Miranda, (or iCarly), I hope you (and all the other people involved) are healing well. My youngest son is really worried that you won't be making any more episodes. He's pretty cute. He's 12 years younger than you, so you might not want to wait around for him to come of age though.

There's Obviously Something Wrong with Me

2011-09-01T10:56:00.000-05:00

Inspired by this weekend's sermon at church, I grabbed my bible and decided to have some time with God. Just him and me. (I've been slacking on this the last few weeks, and I can totally tell.) As I searched for a comfy place to sit down, read and pray, the following thought came into my head: "There's too much $(&#^$@ *%&^ around this house!!!"

There is obviously something wrong with me.

Seriously, if anyone knew that I thought the words $(&#^$@ *%&^ while holding my bible, I'm pretty sure that my church lady card would be revoked.

I finally cleared enough of my daughter's barbies and other treasures off my bed to be able to have a place to kick back and be filled with the grace and goodness of God (and to receive forgiveness for the whole $(&#^$@ *%&^ comment.)

The verses in my study this week are all about praising God, and being worshipful. There were beautiful words written by King David. Here was my favorite:

⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

So I'm feeling all good again, and glad that moment of grumbling had passed. I'm remembering the communion service I attended last night, and the wonderful music. I was lifting my hands and singing praise. I totally get it...

Then I moved on to read the next passage:

¹³ The trumpeters and musicians joined in unison to give praise and thanks to the LORD. Accompanied by trumpets, cymbals and other instruments, the singers raised their voices in praise to the LORD and sang:

“He is good;
his love endures forever.”

Then the temple of the LORD was filled with the cloud, ¹⁴ and the priests could not perform their service because of the cloud, for the glory of the LORD filled the temple of God.

All I can think of as I read that was "Oh Man, those priests must have been ticked!"

There is obviously something wrong with me.

Back in the day, I led worship in a church we attended. I loved doing it, and was blessed over and over by it, but it was a lot of work. I don't think people truly appreciate how much time, planning, prayer and energy goes into planning a worship service each week. From the pastor writing a sermon, to those in the church office putting together a bulletin and announcements, to the worship team planning songs and rehearsing...it's a lot of time.

If things go as planned, everything happening without mistakes...people say "Good Service Pastor", walk out the door and go to lunch.

If anything goes wrong, it's more than likely the sound-guys fault (technical problems are ALWAYS blamed on the sound guy.) Steps are taken to remedy the problem (the sound guy usually blames whoever is working video) and then we move on and start preparing for the next week.

So as I read vs 14 " ...and the priests could not preform their service because of the cloud" I was totally sympathetic. I'm sure back in King David's time, they didn't have to deal with feedback, dead batteries and the wrong words up on the screen...but I know those priests had to do some sort of planning, after all, there were 120 priests there in the temple that day. And it takes some sort of organization to get all those trumpeters and cymbal players together, and don't forget the vocalists (a bunch of divas) And you know that there was at least a clip board involved. So, to go through all of that and then not be able to perform their service because of a cloud??? Really???

The Glory of God was in the temple, and instead of being in awe at the miracle of that, I'm sitting here sympathizing with some overworked Levite with control issues. And in the process....I'M TOTALLY MISSING THE POINT!!

Yep, there's obviously something wrong with me.

My prayer for today is that I don't get so focused on what MY plans are that I miss the Glory of God all around me. That is the point. It's my prayer for all of us today.

My inner 7th Grader

2011-08-30T09:30:00.001-05:00

I realize now at the ripe old age of 41 that I will never truly be able to let go of my inner 7th grader. I try and pretend that I'm all grown up and mature, but she is there...hiding just under the surface.

It's a bit of a good thing, and it's a bit of a bad thing. Depends on the situation.

Bad Things:

Drama with friends
Drama with family
Taking things personally
Lashing out when things are taken personally
Jealousy
Pity parties
Self doubt
Selfishness

Good things:

Inside jokes
3am Text wake up calls
Big Metal Chickens*
Slightly Less Big Material Chickens
Forgiveness
Fun
Laughter
Lots of laughter

I often try and push my 7th grader self back down and tell her to grow up and behave. But if she wasn't there, how could I truly appreciate the crazy parts of my life? Not the "I'm so depressed I'm going to eat an entire bag of Pita chips" crazy, but the "Hey, let's go TP so-and-so's house because she's having a bad day" kind of crazy.

We grow up and get jobs and families and responsibilities and forget that sometimes, it's OK to be a little girl again. The one that finds true joy in shopping for ugly shiny cows for their friend, or who will text you a picture of Knit Your Own Royal Wedding because it is awesome in a horrible horrible way.

Sometimes it's just plain fun to be immature.

Or it could be that I seriously need new friends.

*because of my profanity issues, I don't have a problem with this post, but if you are easily offended, ridiculously uptight, or have bladder control issues, don't click on the link

To Wave, or Not To Wave...THAT is the question

2011-08-25T10:14:00.000-05:00

I should be used to this by now. I've been living in a small town for 9 1/2 years. You would think that I would have found my footing, adjusted, adapted and embraced most aspects of small town life. I think I'm doing OK, but there is one aspect of living in the middle of nowhere that I still struggle with.

It's the wave.

Now, if you grew up in the suburbs or in a city, and never left...you have no idea what I'm talking about. Or maybe you only experienced it while visiting Great Aunt Harriet who lives way out in "the country" and thought it was all sweet-small-town-quaint-Americana-esque.

If you grew up in a small town, you have been doing it automatically since birth. It is a reflex, and you are wondering what the heck am I talking about.

The only people who can truly appreciate this struggle of mine are those who were transplanted from a budding metropolis to the middle of never-never land.

The wave...ugh...I'm getting anxious just thinking about it.

When we moved to Nokomis over 9 years ago, I immediately noticed how everyone waved when they drove, walked or rode their lawn mowers pass my house. I thought it was because we were new, and people were friendly, and felt it was very sweet-small-town-quaint-Americana-esque . At first I waved back, just to be polite. But sometimes I found it uncomfortable. Then I noticed that people were waving at me when I was driving. Then I noticed that everyone was waving to each other too, so it wasn't that I was new or special. Waving is just what people did.

And then I forgot to wave when people drove by, or walked by, or rode their bikes by while pulling a push mower behind them. After all, so much friendliness can wear a person out. No wave, no biggie, right?

WRONG!

Turns out I offended a few people because I didn't wave at them when they drove by. The fact that my hands were full of grocery bags, and my attention was on my children running too close to the street didn't matter. I dissed her. And she was mad. But of course I didn't find this out until I had not-waved numerous times over the course of many months. It also didn't matter to her that she got a new car that I didn't recognize. In a small town, knowing what vehicles people drive is even more important than knowing their names, especially when they get a new pick up!

We moved to Greenville just over 3 years ago. It's 3 times as big as Nokomis, and has 2 stoplights and everything. Also, there is a college here, so there is a population of students that comes and goes. There are staff and faculty that have been transplanted here, so there are people living in this town without the waving reflex. It's not just me anymore. So, I feel completely comfortable not waving at perfect strangers. No more pressure, right??

WRONGI

See, I still see people I know while I'm out driving around. Some of them I see several times a day. Do I wave or not? How many times a day am I supposed to wave? And do I have to give a full wave, or is it OK to just lift my fingers up above the steering wheel as I pass by? I'm telling you...it's a lot of pressure!

All this anxiety is rearing its ugly head right now because school is back in session, and I'm dropping the boys off in the morning. I'm passing the same cars every day. Here is a sample of my inner dialogue from this morning as I spotted my friend's husband in their minivan:
(*names have been changed to protect the blissfully unaware):

There's Lonny*.
Should I wave?
He doesn't care if I wave.
How do I know that?
I know he doesn't care if I wave.
What if he does care? What if he tells Lissy* that I was all rude and not waving?
He won't tell Lissy. He won't even remember that he saw me let alone that I didn't wave.
Should I post on his facebook wall that I'm going to wave to him tomorrow, and that will have to hold him for the entire year?
I can't post that on his facebook wall because
A. He doesn't care if I wave and
B. It will confirm that I am a complete lunatic.
Yeah I'm probably right. Just let it go.
I AM complete lunatic.
I should write a blog post about this.
Yeah, because it's really important that I tell the world of my waving-issues.
I'll title it 'to wave or not to wave', and I'll change Johnny's name to Lonny so no-one will know who I'm talking about.
...sigh...I got nothing. I'm going to do what I want anyway...

So please, right now...stop and take a moment to give thanks to God that you don't live in my head. And if you see me while I'm driving or walking or riding a lawnmower by your house...don't worry about waving...it's OK. I understand.

Random Thoughts XVIII

2011-08-22T20:59:00.000-05:00

School is back in session.
My life may have structure again.
My house may be clean again.

Not likely. The kids still come home. Maybe I should look into boarding school. I mean, if only to keep my livingroom clean for longer than 6 hours at a time.

Anyway, here's some What The HECK? moments from my last few weeks.

1. WHY????

I don't know why in the world anyone would choose to do this to a dog. I was with my group of Bacon Lovers a few weeks back, celebrating our Biggest Loser win. We were all punch drunk on frozen custard and bacon, and as we were walking back to the minivan, a young couple walked up with this dog. Because of the sugar-induced inhebriation, we found this ridiculously funny.

So funny, in fact, that I couldn't pull the van out of the parking spot. I had to stop half-in/half-out because I was afraid I'd careen into other cars in the parking lot. Because I am of a certain age, and have had 4 children the good old fashioned way, I was also concerned about other things. But because I don't want to be unfriended again on facebook, I have taken the word 'squirt' out of my vocabulary when talking about laughter.

Oops...

Anyway, Noel, our official team photographer, saved the day and took some pics. I'm sure she asked them 'WHY??', but I was all worried about crashing and squirting...so I didn't pay attention. Looking at the pictures later, I realized how immensely creepy poodle paws are.

2. SERIOUSLY??

Coincidently, I was at a DIFFERENT frozen custard shop the night we saw one of these cars.

I instantly put it on a memo on my phone, because it was the oddest looking car I have ever seen. Even worse than The Cube. It doesn't look that bad in the picture. It even looks pretty sporty, but in reality, it's the size of a minivan with a soft top.

It's the Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet. I just don't get the point. Don't get it at all. Really really really don't get it. And it's not cheap! The base price is $46,000. Maybe I've been watching too much Top Gear lately, but I seriously have to question WHY anyone would buy this car. I don't understand Cross-Over vehicles anyway. They are the same size as a minivan, but not nearly as functional. They are sort-of-kind-of like an SUV, but not. They are a strange hybrid of really tall sedans. THEN, you go and take the TOP OFF??? It just looked goofy.

A Cabriolet is a really cool girl's car. It's what Laura Holt drove on Remington Steele. When you see a Cabriolet, you are supposed to think...'Golly Gee...I wish I was her!!' I'm not quite sure WHO would drive this thing. And I was too busy eating my teeny tiny scoop of frozen custard to see who drove off in it. I would have asked them what they were thinking...I'm obnoxious that way.

I just realized when I was a teenager, I loved Remintgon Steele and I wanted to be a PI just like Stephanie Zimbalist's character. A million years later, I'm kindof a PI...but no Cabriolet. And no Pierce Brosnan either...although my husband does try to speak with an English accent occassionaly.

Anyway....

3. Family Camp Out

A few weeks back, I packed up the fam, and headed to North Western Illinois for a fun filled weekend of camping and DFB with my extended family.

Mom and Dad were in their new hotel on wheels.
BH1 and his wife were at a bed and breakfast.
BH2 and his wife and daughter were in my parents camper
The six of us were in two tents.

Mom and Dad = Smart
BH1 and wife = Smarter
BH2 and fam = Lucky
Us = 2 Tents

My husband pointed out to me afterwards that he isn't as young as he once was, and that by the time my parents were his age, they were on their 4th camper.

Hot tent + Hard Ground + Leeky Airmattress = Cranky Husband

But he was speaking in an English accent, so it was OK.

Fun was had by all, and ~~we mocked my father incessantly about~~ the t-shirts were a big hit. Note to anyone that rents golf-carts or other off road vehicles. DON'T rent to the men-folk in my family. And if you do, make them pay extra for insurance. BH1 & BH2 were merciless on the trails around the campground...and much fun was had by all.

Some more than others.

Square Pegs

2011-08-18T10:06:00.000-05:00

The great/awful thing about clichés is that everyone knows them, everyone knows what they mean, everyone knows the point you are trying to make…yet everyone rolls their eyes when you say them. That’s too bad. Clichés are little bits of wisdom passed down through the ages. They transcend gender, ethnicity, age and language. Yet when you use one…you are dated, uncreative and a dork.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the cliché “square peg in a round hole” recently. It tells a tale of a futile attempt to fit in. Trying to be some place that you are not meant to be. Initially, as I pondered the thought, I wondered if the square peg would be considered a quitter if it stopped trying. After all, the bruises and scrapes that the square peg endures trying to fit into the round hole are painful. It takes a toll, and after while it can be exhausting. We hear “never ever give up” but when you are jamming yourself, banging yourself, bruising yourself trying to shape yourself into some place that you clearly are not meant to be…is “never give up” appropriate advice?

Conventional wisdom would say no. Conventional wisdom would say go find a square hole…or a bigger round hole…or stop trying and just be yourself…a square peg alone, independent, a free spirit.

Recently I’ve felt that way in a VERY significant part of my life. I’ve felt like my efforts to ‘fit in’ were in vain. I’ve felt my personality could not reshape itself to be what “the hole” wanted me to be. I started banging myself into the hole, trying to force it. I started getting mad at the hole because it wouldn’t adapt itself to fit me. I was hurt. I was angry. I was battered, banged up and bruised.

I decided I had enough. After all, there is nothing wrong with an independent square peg, right? There’s nothing wrong with me, and who I am…this is their problem, not mine.

But then, in a moment of brutal love and brutal honesty, a very wise woman said to me: “But Stephanie, you are made of clay…not steel.”

Ugh…

Not what I wanted to hear. This square peg had calmly rationalized my decision. I was done. Or was I?

Clay…not steel.

Yet lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You are our potter; we are all the work of Your hands.*

For those of you who are not Christ followers, this thought process might be completely out of sync with how you live your life. Believe me, I understand. I have been “a Christian” for most of my life, and on many days, the thought of giving my life, my dreams, my thoughts , my heart…the thought of handing these integral parts of myself over to someone…anyone…makes me bristle. The thought that my attitude, my pride and my frustrations could be having any part in my situation is not something that I want to hear. Work on THEM God…it’s THEIR problem.

Yet when I heard those words…clay, not steel…the anger, conflict and pride in me burst. I could see it all flying around that wise woman’s head like a balloon that was stuck with a pin.

Turns out, I am made of clay. Turns out I am filled with pride. Turns out that there are times where my attitude is not what it should be. Turns out that my corners are actually rounder than I thought. Turns out that hole wasn't quite as small and round as I had imagined.

It’s not giving up. It’s not giving in. It’s letting go to be what God...my potter, has intended me to be.

*Isaiah 64:8 HCSB

It's over...sortof!

2011-08-12T21:45:00.001-05:00

In the beginning...there was bacon.

And it was good.

REALLY good.

And we indulged.

REALLY indulged.

And a time came where we realized that this love for the "candy of meat" had gone a bit awry...and something needed to be done.

So we banded together, a small pack of women who were larger than they wanted to be, with one goal in mind...

And we were successful.

And there was much joy and celebration in all the land.

The End.

NOT!

Turns out, we're not done.

Yes, my Bacon Lovers (anonymous) Team DID win FCC's Biggest Loser competition this week. Of the 13 teams, ours had the largest overall percentage of weight loss. This win meant that we won $1500 for our Teams charity: Bond Christian Service Camp.

And yes, we took the money we won a few weeks back, and had a tiny celebration at Bobby's Frozen Custard in Maryville, IL immediately following the meeting.

And yes, we may have gone to Burger King for some french fries too. (We had $8 left...we couldn't just let it go to waste....)

But we still have much to do.

In 71 days, we will be walking the Rock-n-Roll St. Louis Half-Marathon. So most of the drive to and from Bobby's was discussing work out schedules, and what goals we are setting for ourselves next. Sure, there was some silliness and possibly some paper crowns going on...but us Bacon Lovers are hard core. One night of indulgence, and then we were back hitting the pavement.

There will probably be more future whining because of all the training...its A LOT of walking.

But right here, right now, I need to tell you some of the highlights.

This is Angie.

She came in 2nd place over all. (That's me with the extra chins sitting right behind her.) We were sooooo hoping that she would win. So was she.

Angie has 3 boys, 2 of them under 2 years old. She's a busy wife and mother. On Valentine's Day, without telling anyone...she made a decision, and got to work. She joined Weight Watchers, and changed her lifestyle. She has lost 75 lbs since then. We were about the same weight when Biggest Loser started, but she totally smoked me.

While she didn't win over-all Biggest Loser, and the $300ish check that came with it...she did win an even more prestigious award and title.

She is, without a doubt, our Most Valuable Bacon Lover. Without her discipline and consistency, we wouldn't have been in contention for the win.

That guy behind her in the picture below is Terry. He was last year's Biggest Loser. I'm very proud of him because he has kept the weight off since last year...until a few weeks ago when his wife was out of town and he rediscovered chocolate. But since he got rid of all his fat clothes, he had no choice but to re-focus so his pants would fit! You know he's totally jealous of her award.

This is all of us. We should have taken a before picture. We should have taken our measurements...should of done this, should have done that. But hey, we were too busy walking. Do you see those yellow braclets we are wearing? Everyone in the competition got one when they completed a "100 Mile" sheet. These sheets are just a simple form to keep track of our activity. When we finished our 2nd, 3rd, 4th (and a few 5ths) ...we bedazzled them with croc plugs or eyelets. They are horribly tacky, and completely awesome at the same time. Our team turned in 27 completed sheets.

From left to right: Crystal, Stacy, Chrisy, Angie, Me, Meg and Noel. Crystal, Chrisy and Angie all have blogs. Noel is The Official Bacon Lovers Photographer, and took the photos here. Stacy is the Official Bacon Lover Athletic Trainer. Meg was on my team last year, and in spite of back surgery DURING the competition, had the 2nd largest weight loss on my team. She also KEPT IT ALL OFF and is still shrinking. Check out the links...it's the nice thing to do.

This was the carnage left behind at Bobby's. Let me tell you, there were some very interesting noises that night. Turns out that when a woman is denied real dessert for long enough, the first time is very...um...satisfying.

These are my girls. I am grateful for their encouragement and motivation and accountability. We lift each-other up, we pray for one another. We tell each other to suck it up, get out of bed and quit the whining.

And we all look awesome in black!

Spinning spinning spinning!

2011-08-11T22:33:00.001-05:00

It was pointed out to me by ~~an annoying~~ a very dear friend that it has been 5 days since I last posted.

It's going to be a few more..

See, my life keeps going on even when I want to blog. Whether I want it to or not. BUT, I've got much to say. So please...check back....and I will tell you in the next few days. Here's a few hints:

A certain team of female humans that I may or may not know, may have won a weight loss competition, and earned $1500 for a camp near and dear to their hearts.
A certain person that I may or may not know may have played DFB while camping, and lived to tell the tale.
Square pegs don't always fit into round holes, no matter how hard they try.
Then there's this:

It really happened...I swear.

So please check back in a few days...at least to find out what the heck anyone would dye their poodle hot pink.

Dysfunctional Family Bingo

2011-08-06T08:18:00.000-05:00

As you read this post, I am on my way to a family camping trip with my parents, BH1, BH2, their beautiful wives...and most importantly...my niece, Kylie.

We don't get together that often anymore. One brother lives in Texas, my parents and brother live in the suburbs of Chicago, I live in the middle of nowhere...all of us together in the same place is becoming a rarity, so I'm looking forward to the weekend. My Dad has ordered us all matching t-shirts. And there's going to be a photographer. And we are supposed to wear white or kakhi shorts. Apparently we are filming some sort of Ralph Lauren goes RVing commercial, and now there's talk of a three legged race...deep breath...

Family get togethers can be fun. They can also be stressful. A lot of different personalities plus a lot of different expectations, multiplied by years of inside jokes and a life time of knowing what buttons to push. A few years ago, I came up with a special way to deal with these situations. I am giving this secret to you as a gift. Please feel free to use it whenever you need to. Weddings, funerals, reunions, holidays, birthday parties...whenever family gets together. I have given this gift to close friends before, but I hesitated to bring it to the general public. I figured that it would someday make me rich and famous. But really, who needs wealth? Who wants fame?

So with an overwhelmingly humble and generous spirit, I give to you...

Dysfunctional Family Bingo 101

Determine the players. You want to pick people that can be in on the joke with you. Look for family members of like-mind. (A favorite cousin perhaps.)
Write a list of potential situations that are going to happen. If you know that one of your Uncles might make an inappropriate sexual comment to one of his nieces...write it down. If you know one of your sisters might brag about her daughter's straight As...write it down. If you know a cousin is going to tell the embarassing story about you and that time at the zoo when you were 7...write it down. If it's cringe inducing, makes you roll your eyeballs or otherwise want to scream...write it down.
Draw a grid on some paper to make a quick Bingo Card
Fill in the squares on the card with items from the list in step 2.
As each event happens, color in the appropriate square.
First person to get Bingo...wins!

I've never actually gotten to number 3. Usually completing step 2 is so much fun that I stop there.

Here's why DFB works so well:

When the things that you THINK will happen ACTUALLY happen...you laugh. A lot.

The things that would normally make you cringe, roll your eyes or scream turn out to be ridiculously funny instead.

It's really just a change in perspective. It kindof-sortof helps pull the stick out of your butt about stuff. It also lets you feel moderately superior to everyone else because you predicted the future.

So here is the start my list for this weekend of camping with my family...

1. During the Ralph Lauren-esque photo shoot, my Dad will grab someone's butt.
2. There will be diet Coke cans hidden somewhere in my parent's brand new camper.
3. There will be reciprocal diet Coke cans hidden somewhere in my tent.
3. My brothers and I will aggravate my Mom and she will fling a package of hotdogs on a counter. (It's always hotdogs...I don't know why...I don't think she even eats hot dogs)
4. I will give someone the bird while pretending to clean gunk out of the corner of my eye.
5.-? TBD, but you get the general idea, right?

How do YOU cope with family?

Bacon Lovers...The Home Stretch

2011-08-05T07:47:00.001-05:00

5 more days. That's it. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday...that's all I have to get through. Then it will be Wednesday. The last day. FCC's Biggest Loser will be over. Weigh ins will be complete. The numbers will be in. We will find out how our Bacon Lovers (anonymous) did. Did we win? Did we tie? Did we lose?

I don't care.

Right now I.DO.NOT.CARE.

Why this apathy?

Because suddenly I am hungry. Really hungry.

I was hungry all day yesterday. I went to bed hungry. I woke up hungry.

I'm sitting here watching The Today Show...thinking about granola.

The first half of the BL competition I did OK. I did really good most days, but I let myself indulge every once in a while.

For the last 3 1/2 weeks, I've been militant. It doesn't matter how much I exercise. I won't eat beyond 1300 calories. And I was fine. Until yesterday.

And now that the end is sooooo close, I'm finding it hard to stay focused. I want to use those 3 1/2 weeks of impecable dieting behavior as justification to eat a bowl of ice cream. It doesn't matter that every day I've seen my scale go down just a bit. I want hot fudge. And pecans.

I read this great post on the Psychology of Weight Loss. I feel like my inner self is having a temper tantrum. Stupid Inner Self!!!

But the end is in sight. And with it (win or lose) comes a great reward. A few weeks ago, we won some cash to go out as a group and hang out together. Here is what we are going to do with it:

We're going to Bobby's. It's a frozen custard shop in Maryville, IL. It's one of those places that is worth the 45 minute drive. And we will be making it...in 5 days. Immediately following our next Biggest Loser meeting, we are heading there. And we are getting WHATEVER we want. In fact, we have been keeping a list of the things that we want to have ON TOP of our sundaes. The list is long. We can't wait.

I also have to keep in mind that it's not about me. As much as I like to think the world revolves around me and whatever crap is rattling around in my head at any given point, we are doing this for a reason. Yes, originally it was to lose weight and have fun with some friends. We really didn't think that we would have a chance of winning the competition. But now, 11 weeks in, we are in the lead. It's ours to lose. The prize?
Over $1,000 for Bond Christian Service Camp. (I can't remember the specific dollar amount...but it ain't chump change). And the camp can use it. After a summer full of kids running all over the place, there are things that need to be repaired, or repainted, or replaced.

Which is more important?

...sigh...it's not granola....or hot fudge...or pecans.

So I will stay focused. I will not let my team-mates down. I will not let Bond Camp down. I will persevere. I will be counting the seconds until Wednesday!!!

How do you beat back your inner temper tantrum?

For a recap of our Bacon Lover's journey, check out these posts:

Want to pledge me in the 1/2 Marathon we are walking in October?

Someday...

2011-08-04T10:57:00.001-05:00

If you are like me, you probably have about 10-15 blogs you keep up with on a regular basis.

If you are like me, you may have noticed that at least half of these bloggers get to travel because of their blogs.

If you are like me, you may have noticed that a lot of bloggers are at BlogHer '11 right now.

If you are like me you may wish that someday you will get to travel because of your blog.

If you are like me, you are just happy that ANYONE is reading your blog.

If you are like me you are happy to have an idea of what to write about for your blog.

If you are like me you are hungry right now.

Mama said...

2011-08-03T11:09:00.000-05:00

Mama said there'd be days like this.

At least that's what the song says. I don't remember my Mom ever saying that. And I don't remember calling her Mama. But you get the idea.

I'm in a funk. It's lasted a few hours now, and I want to get out of it. But here I sit at the computer, trolling facebook, wasting time, eating a 100 calorie bag of Orville Redenbacher Kettle Corn. It needs salt.

I woke up and was out walking at 5:45 with my fellow Bacon Lover, Stacy. Great walk fast, great conversation, great amount of humidity yuck. Got home, put the coffee on, turned on the Today show, checked my email.

By the time my husband left for work, I was in a funk. Went in my room to spend some time reading my bible and praying, and ended up writing out a long list of grievances against my life, and what's wrong with it.

Laundry
Dishes
Moody children
Clingy children
Dieting
Exercise
Debt
Work
More laundry
More dishes
The other moody children
Dog hair
Clutter
Weeds
Aches
Pains
*(&# more laundry
*(&# more dishes
Moody people that aren't my children

The list could go on and on and on and on...

I don't understand how I can go from 0 to despondent over a cup of coffee and Matt Lauer.

I do realize that I'm blessed.
I realize that I have plenty of clothes for my family.
I realize that I have plenty of food to feed them.
I realize that I have shelter.
I realize that in spite of aches and pains, I am healthy enough to exercise.
I realize that we have weeds because we have had rain.
I realize that children are learning to be humans, and my reactions to their mood swings will help them learn to be better people some day.
I realize that my husband and I both have jobs that are allowing us to pay off our debt.
I realize that I have friends that love and accept me when I'm the moody one.

"That's what my mind says, I just wish somebody would explain it to my heart..."*

I am amazed at the vast chasm that often forms between the things that I KNOW and the things that I FEEL. I guess that is why we are called to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, soul AND strength. So those times that we are bogged down with our feelings, the other parts will take over. Or when we know we are right about something, our hearts will soften to allow us to love anyway.

It doesn't explain all the dog hair though...

*M'Lynn, Steel Magnolias...the best and most quotable movie of all time.

Bows

2011-08-02T08:29:00.000-05:00

I learned something 4 years and 3 days ago. It's not a solution to the world economic crisis, or the drought in Texas or the famine in Africa. But it was life changing for me, and for my family. Many people were already well aware of this little tid-bit of information. Most of you probably. But not me. I was in the dark.

What was this little bundle of enlightenment?

Baby girls come with bows.

I didn't know this, and it shocked me.

See, when you are in the hospital for your 4th child, you are a little bit of a know-it-all. You've been there, done that, have a closet full of Enfamil diaper bags to prove it. The nurses treat you differently. You have less people around in the delivery room and waiting room. The whole thing gets a little routine. You don't expect many surprises. You are just there for the epidural and the quiet. You have 3 boys at home...you need to nap while you can. So I have to say, I didn't think that I would be surprised by anything.
.
So on a hot July Monday, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl without an epidural, but that's a different story all together. After all the intital chaos, I nursed her for the first time, Grandparents were called, and the nurses took her away to give her a bath and clean off all the gook.

Then they brought her back. And there was a bow on her head. HOW CUTE!!!

In that moment, I truly realized the changes that were in store for us. There were not going to be any reviews of circumsicion care. Changing diapers was going to be a completely new experience.

That was just the tip of the iceberg.

4 years and 3 days later I can tell you that the differences in raising boys and girls is astounding. I can't believe that with 3 older brothers, this little girl manages to remain a priss. She only will wear dresses. She loves her Barbies. And Rapunzel. And Olivia. Her favorite color is pink. She is going to be a princess butterfly when she grows up.

She is spoiled rotten.

She is the only girl AND the baby of the family. I apologize in advance to her room-mates in college and especially her husband.

She is quick to smile, even quicker to laugh.

She plays practical jokes.

She is a menace.

She is amazing.
She is a diva.

She is delightful.

She is 4.

Happy Birthday Princess Grace.

Bacon Shaped Targets

2011-07-31T17:07:00.000-05:00

The BL(a)s are in the home-stretch now. There are only 10 days left in the Biggest Loser competition at Greenville's FCC, and it's ours too lose. For real.

But I'll get into that in a minute.

First, an update. The challenge at Wednesday's meeting had all the teams channelling their inner Top-Chefs. Each team was assigned either a salad, entree or dessert. Then each team had to create a healthy, tasty recipe, make it, and bring in tasting samples for all the contestants. BL(a) was assigned dessert, and being bacon lovers, we decided that whatever we had, IT-MUST-HAVE-BACON.

Now, several of us are in the same bible study. And our bible study is where our fondness for bacon turned into an obsession. We have combined bacon with almost every dessert you can imagine. Cookies, brownies, coffee cake, rice-krispie treats... We are pretty hard-core.

So we decided to make a traditional dark-chocolate moouse, and serve it in a won-ton wrapper sprinkled with cinnamon sugar. We were pretty sure that we would lose. And we did. First, not everyone gets bacon and we feel sad for them. Second, not everyone likes dark chocolate and we feel sad for them. Third, the other teams had to vote on each category and we've been a little intense. Lastly, the other desserts were pretty tasty too. We had high hopes for a few minutes there because we brought the only chocolate dessert, and our table was swarmed to grab up all the left overs...but alas...we only got 1 vote. And we couldn't vote for ourselves, so a shout-out thank you to whichever team voted for us.

I didn't bring a camera, and the picture I took from my phone is really bad, so you will just have to trust me that our dessert looked pretty. But beauty isn't everything...sigh...

The most amazing dish of the evening was called "I Can't Believe it's Not Potato Salad". I-heart-potato salad. I have missed it. I put one forkful on my tongue and declared my true love and devotion. It is made with cauliflower. It was incredible. Way to go Hot Pink Team!!! I'm putting the recipe at the bottom of this post. You WILL need to try it.

While we lost dramatically in the night's challenge, we came through on the team weigh in. We won for the night, our 2nd time. We were pretty excited. Everyone else...not so much. I guess we've been a little intense.

Which brings me back to where we started.

The day after our meeting, the organizers posted the stats so far. We are in the lead having lost 9% of our group's body weight. They even went so far as to post the number of pounds each team would need to catch up to us. See??? Targets. On our backs. Yikes.

The inevitable has happened. The trash talking has started. They taunt us, we offer to make them pie. They say we are cocky, we ask them over for donuts. They say we cheated, we....wait....WHAT?

Apparently now there are rumors going around that we are cheating. My first instinct was to assume my fighting stance and go to town. My fangs came out. My blood pressure shot up. Who? What? Huh? AAAHHHH!

But I have decided that instead of ranting and raving and getting all defensive, that I will just keep offering to bring cheesecake. If anyone really wants to discuss our teams strategy, they should meet me at the church at 6am on Monday and you can walk with some of us. I think we are doing 4 miles tomorrow. Maybe 4.5. I don't remember. It should only take about an hour and 5 minutes. Angie can tell you how she has lost over 70 lbs since February. Meg can tell you how when she was sidelined with a foot injury, she took up biking and water aerobics. Stacy can tell you how she is up and out the door at 5am walking with Joy. Crystal is on vacation now, but I'll tell you stories of how she wears 5lb weighs on each ankle when she walks with us. Chrisy can tell you how for the last two Saturday's, she walked to and from the church for our 6.5 mile walk...bringing her total distance to 10 miles. Noel won't be there though. She hates getting up that early to exercise. And she's busy with the complete gutting and remodeling of her house. Did you know that you can burn over 1400 calories in a day just from painting? Noel does.

I guess what I'm saying is that people can think what they want. We are obnoxious. So what? We are driven. So what? We are cocky. Heck yeah!!

We've been working our butts off. I haven't had a sandwich in a month. I have not consumed more than 1380 calories in the last 3 weeks. I have eaten every combination of salad toppings you can think of. I'm DYING for a bowl of granola. We are committed to this competition and to each other. We don't want to let our girls down. We are slightly insane.

And we are afraid of Angie if we lose. She started a blog. You can follow her story here.

10 more days....we can do this!

10 more days....

Here is the Winning Recipe for salad from the Hot Pink Team:

I Can't Believe It's Not Potato Salad..................
1 large head cauliflower, roughly chopped
6 hard boiled egg whites, chilled and chopped
1/2 envelope dry ranch dressing/dip mix
1 1/2 cups fat free mayonnaise
1/2 cup fat free sour cream
3 tablespoons hellmann's/best foods dijonnaise
2 tablespoons fat free non dairy liquid creamer
1 cup diced red onion
2 celery stalks diced
1/4 cup chopped chives
3 tablespoons seasoned rice vinegar
2 tablespoon chopped dill
2 tablespoon chopped parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt
optional garnish : paprika

place cauliflower in a large microwave safe bowl and pour 1/3 cup water over it. cover and microwave for 6 to 8 minutes until cauliflower is soft.

meanwhile in a medium bowl, stir together ranch mix, mayo, sour cream, dijonnaise and salt, set aside.

once bowl is cool enough to handle, drain any excess water from cauliflower. lightly mash 2 cups of the cauliflower(set the rest aside) and then place mashed cauliflower in a blender. add creamer and puree until blended. don't worry if the puree isn't smooth. pour mayo mixture in to the blender and mix until blended and creamy.

chop remaining cauliflower into small, 1/2 inch pieces. place cauliflower in a large bowl and add onion, celery and vinegar. toss well and let sit for 5 minutes.

Pour blender mixture over the vegetables and mix well. add chopped egg whites, chives, dill and parsley. stir lightly.

chill for several hours before serving. sprinkle with paprika if you like. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
I also threw in a little garlic pepper for taste!

per serving (2/3) 97 calories, 1.25g fat, 729mg sodium,

17g carbs, 3g fiber, 8g sugars, 4.5g protein

Crazy Apathy

2011-07-27T21:42:00.002-05:00

We finished up the last chapters of Francis Chan's book Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God. It was a very good book, but as a group, we decided that it was just too much for us right now. We decided to search out a new book...probably not even written yet...called Crazy Apathy.

The benefits of the book Crazy Apathy will be many, and mostly because of all the things the book does NOT ask of you. Here are some examples:

You will be called to show Christ's love to others...but only the people that you like, or that like you. You will NOT be challenged to branch out of your comfortable circle of friends.
You will be called to serve God and others...but you won't actually be expected to spend too much time or money to do so.
You will be called to seek God's will for your life...but only in snippets 140 characters or less. You will not need to actually pick up the bible and read it. Tweets from your friends, and Facebook posts from your family will count.
You will be asked to recognize your sins...but you will be surrounded by a group of people who will willingly help you justify your behavior.
You will be called to attend church or another community of believers...but you will NOT be expected to actually DO anything there. Just show up, then go out for lunch.
You will be called to forgive others...but you won't actually have to humble yourself and apologize when you need forgiveness.
You will be called to share your faith...but not with anyone that would disagree or argue with you, or who might make fun of you for doing it.

So, have you seen this book? Do you know of anyone who might be able to write it? Because I'm sure it would be a much easier book to read, and much easier to put into practice than Crazy Love. Seriously, this book would sell MILLIONS of copies. And it won't ask ANYTHING of you at all!

Maybe I should write it. After all...I've been living it.

Ouch!

That is probably a problem...don't you think?

July

2011-07-26T14:24:00.000-05:00

So apparently July is almost over already. I swear it just got here. And now it's almost gone.

How did that happen?

I had nothing planned in July. It was an open month. Full of leisure and fun and sunshine. And now it's nearly done, and I've had little leisure, a moderate amount of fun, and an epic amount of humidity.

Seriously...other than sending JD to Texas, a few Biggest Loser meetings and a Stamp Camp...I had nothing going on.

So how did it go by so fast, and why am I exhausted?

I was reminded by a friend that I hadn't blogged in a week. I informed her that I haven't even read a blog in a week.

Yet I've spent more hours at my desk this month than I thought humanly possible.

I don't understand how people can sit at desks all day long...plugging away at computers. My shoulders hurt, my butt hurts and I'm cranky.

I think that when I get my paycheck for the month, it should become clear what happened to my 'July of Fun & Leisure' that wasn't.

I'm thankful that I have a job.

And there's still some summer left, right?

An Open Letter to the Men of Illinois

2011-07-19T09:26:00.002-05:00

As this summer's heat wave continues, I would like to send out a message to my community on proper heat wave apparel:

Dear Men of Illinois,

Please put your shirt on. You are not 17 anymore. You do not have washboard abs.

You are hairy, front and back. You are pale, except for your forearms and neck. You may possibly be a little jiggly in the gut. When you glisten with sweat while mowing your lawn topless, those are not pheromones that are emanating from you. It is not a mating call to the women of the world. Your ink, it is now stretched and faded.

Please put your shirt on,
Sincerely, ME.

and because I practice equal opportunity mockery:

Dear Fellow Plus Size Women of Illinois,

Please do not wear short-shorts out in public. There is a reason that you can't find short-shorts at Lane Bryant. They are not to be meant by anyone over a size 12, and even the 12s are only on a case by case basis. A tan does not disguise the cellulite as much as you might think. And no, it is not your imagination that the shorts are "riding up" in the front. They are, and yes, other people can tell.

Please invest in a skort or some Capris,
Sincerly, ME

Random Thoughts XVII

2011-07-18T10:07:00.000-05:00

It's too hot to think these days, so only a few random thoughts:

Perfect Iced Coffee
I love iced coffee, but I'm too cheap to buy it when I'm out. Plus, they usually use cream or half and half, and right now I try to not drink my calories. (It's the price you pay for a long time love affair with carbohydrates). I was checking out Pioneer Woman's blog (as is required by law if you are a female blogger) and saw this post about the perfect iced coffee.

Obviously she doesn't have the same policy as I do about drinking calories, although we both do share a love for yoga pants. What I took from this post was the cold brew method. It was pretty easy to do, and made a really good brew. Just a note though...if you ever try this, and I suggest you do, DO NOT use flavored coffee. It tasted fine, but the oils that they use to flavor the beans make a really unattractive scuz on the top of the coffee, and as it sits in your fridge, it looks pretty nasty.

VBS Phobia
I understand that it's completely irrational, but I have a severe fear of Vacation Bible School. I have tried to conquer this fear for many years. I've even tried immersion therapy, getting involved doing music or helping organize registration. I have decided, that at the age of 41, I'm done trying. There is something so nerve racking about that many kids, all amped up on kool-aide and generic cookies, in the heat of summer. And the music...oh my goodness, let's not even go there.

THAT BEING SAID, my son Peter and some friends went to Metro's KBK Kids Bible Kamp last week and had a blast. I drove a van full back and forth to Vandalia every day. The kids LOVED it! They had sno-cones and water games and even all dressed up like their favorite safari animal! It was really cute, from the safe distance that I observed at. I am so thankful for all those volunteers that showed up every day ready to tell kids about Christ.

So, while I would rather serve in other ways, I am so appreciative of all the men and women who take time out every summer to put these programs on. You rock.

Reading Frenzy
The past month I've been reading a lot. I try and limit how many books I read simply because when I am in the middle of a book, ~~I am completely obsessed and want everyone to just LEAVE ME THE HECK ALONE!~~ I tend to not pay attention to my family or my house all that much. I do not have the discipline to put a book down, take care of my responsibilities and then pick it back up later. I.must.read.NOW! Even if it's not a great book, I still fall completely under it's spell until it's finished.

My husband hates when I read. My kids hate when I read. I have tunnel vision. I become lost in another world. I do not consider this a character flaw. I refuse to consider this a character flaw. It is what it is. It's probably something I should work on.

Anyway...

Here are some worlds I've been lost in lately:

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society I loved this one. It is unique in that the story is told through a series of letters between a female journalist after WW2, and a group of people on Guernsey, one of the Chanel Islands that was occupied by Germany. It's a great read, and the story unfolds beautifully.
Sisters of the Quilt: The Complete Trilogy I borrowed this book from the Lending Library at Trendz in Nokomis. It was good. It's about a young Amish woman and her struggles with her family, faith and her desire to be what God's called her to be.
Her Mother's Hope (Marta's Legacy) & Her Daughter's Dream (Marta's Legacy) My love for Francine Rivers knows no bounds, and I am a complete sucker for any of her books. These are the kind that will keep you up until you finish them. I think I finished both of these after 3 am. I waited a few weeks in between them, but only because I was trying to actually pay attention to my family for a while. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!! (get ready book club...)
Perfect Shelter I actually read this book in the spring, but I wanted to tell you about it. It is written by my former next-door neighbor who moved away to Texas last year. She had 2 more books come out in May (Return to Me and Moving On) I haven't had a chance to get them yet, but if they are like the first one, you will be drawn in to a beautiful story of redemption.
The Postmistress I haven't read beyond the first page yet, because of the whole having to pay attention to family thing. I mean seriously...can't a 4 year old get her OWN lunch for a change??? but this is the current book club selection. It's another one set in WW2, and I'm looking forward to reading it.

Shakin our Bacon

Our Biggest Loser team is called Bacon Lovers (anonymous) and we are competing to win money for Bond Christian Service Camp, a local church camp. Since the camp is supported by area churches, they are on a limited budget, and any extra is always appreciated. Our team has decided that we are going to collect pledges for the 1/2 marathon that we are walking in October. We hope to raise a few thousand dollars for the camp to use to buy land that is adjacent to the camp. (Some of these parcels simply need to have their taxes paid, and the Camp can get them for around $700) So...that being said, I will be asking people to pledge per mile that I complete in the Rock N Roll Half marathon. $1 per mile, $5 per mile, $10 per mile...whatever you can do. If you are interested, please let me know! And FYI...the half-marathon is 13.1 miles. Since I am not going to lose the most weight on our team, I at least want to collect the most pledges!! Competitive Much?

So what are you doing this week?

Easter in July

2011-07-14T07:29:00.001-05:00

So, our Bacon Lovers (anonymous) team was at it again last night.

Our challenge at FCC's Biggest Loser meeting was to go on an Easter Egg hunt. This hunt was hard core and took us all over town. On foot. Each team member had to collect 3 eggs. The farthest ones were 3 points, the closest were 1. There were 2 point eggs in there too, but we are the BL(a)s, and we are on a mission. 3 point eggs for all! Except for 1 member...sigh...she chose to be climbing mountains in Colorado with her family instead of running around hot and steamy Illinois with us, frantically trying to win. Obviously her priorities are out of whack!

Since there was no extra bonus for finishing first, I have to wonder why we were in such a hurry to do so. We hustled our way to the 3 point eggs, divided and conquered to get the 1 point eggs for our absentee member, and all were sitting down at our table in less than 42 minutes. I guess we had a lot longer to complete the challenge, and didn't need to run and/or power walk so fast, but we are the BL(a)s and we are a group of highly competitive, focused, sometimes annoying, type-A personalities. That means we create competition and urgency where there doesn't need to be any.

All the groups did great. My husband didn't realize that we would all be running around town last night, so he sent me a text while we were already done...sitting at our table...needlessly gloating that we were back first. He said he wanted to help our team out, so as he was driving by the other groups, he was waving his shake from DQ at them...for distraction. He loves me...he really does!

In the end...we tied for the win with the Maroon Team. It sounds like we would have tied no matter what. They also had someone out last night. The prize was some $$ to go out as a team, and spend some time together that did not involve working out or planning how to over-achieve at the next challenge. I'm excited.

I love my team. Everyone is working so hard. The last few weeks have been hard on all of us. Busy schedules, the heat, vacations, cookouts, kids, ball games, extreme home make-overs...they are all challenging us and our food choices. We came in 4th overall for weight lost last night. Thanks in part to our team's biggest loser...Angie. She has been consistent...focused...determined...amazing. She has 3 boys at home, 2 of them under 2 years old. She has been working so hard, even before the Biggest Loser competition. Today, 5 months in, she has lost 67 lbs. I am in awe of her...when I'm not hating her for blazing pass me down the scale.

2 more meetings to go.
100 days until the half-marathon!

War Games, part 2

2011-07-12T18:46:00.001-05:00

A couple weeks ago, I told you how my 15 year old son was going to unleash his inner Matthew Broderick, and take over the world by building his own computer.

It was a huge undertaking, and due to 1 incompatible part...the project was stalled.

Until yesterday. Now, it is complete. And it works. And I am suitably impressed.

According to him...this thing is a beast. He then rattled off terms in some geekified language that only a few understand. I believe him. I just don't understand him.

So, just so you know...it is possible that I have the next Michael Dell or Bill Gates living in my house right now.

Tonight at dinner I asked him what his next goal was. He just looked at me and smirked.

Now I'm nervous.

Stephanie's Guide to Groveling

2011-07-11T15:38:00.000-05:00

You are probably not like me.
You are a kind person, and never speak without thinking.
You are a rational person, and are not prone to emotional outbursts.
You are a rule follower...no matter what, and do not get angry or frustrated when the rules effect you negatively.
You are not the Queen of the Misplaced Comment, and do not say the worst possible thing at the worst possible time...without knowing it.

So you probably do not need this guide. It is not for you. Please just smile and nod, and possibly share the link to this post with a friend or family member that is in serious need of this information.

I have developed and honed this guide over the course of 4 decades. I have tested and tried out various forms of grovel and apology in the laboratory that is my life, and have discovered the most effective tools for the job. I feel I am called to share these tools with the world.

How to Grovel:

Recognize that you are stupid, what you said is stupid, that the world does not revolve around you and that in your moment of severe stupidity you...

Were wrong
Were Nasty
Over reacted
Should have realized that the invite to the Lia Sophia party that was being held in the church fellowship hall was not actually a Lia Sophia party...and was really a surprise baby shower...for you...therefore not violating the rule about having a Lia Sophia party in the church fellowship hall

Make contact with the person you must apologize/grovel to either in person, by phone or through a carefully worded email. Unfortunately, apologies are not transmitted telepathically. Grovelling does not work when delivered through a 3rd party. Ignoring your stupid behavior now just means that you will have to go through twice as much groveling later on.
Tell the person you must grovel to that you recognize that you are stupid and proved it with your_________. (Fill in the blank with whatever stupid thing you did)
Hang your head in shame. You were stupid. Suck it up. Take your humility like a man.
Never, Never, NEVER say 'but'... It completely negates the apology. (You ARE allowed to use the word 'butt', Ex. "I'm really sorry that I commented on the cool pockets of your jeans, I was not actually staring at your butt"
Reinforce your apology or grovelling with a small gift. This was not something that I initially did on purpose. It was actually pointed out to me that is was my predictable behaviour when trying to make nice to someone, and was usually in the form of baked goods. Today, it was in the form of a diet Coke with Vanilla from DQ. Go with what works. This shouldn't be a huge investment, but if you are prone to stupidity AND if you have been through FPU, I suggest you create an envelope for it.
Forgive as you hope to be forgiven. Just as the other person doesn't realize that you were sick, hormonal, overwhelmed, exhausted or stretched too thin when you acted stupidly...you don't know that the person who wronged you wasn't feeling the same way...or worse.

If you don't find these tips helpful, I suggest you take a long hard look in the mirror.
Or just pass it on to your sister, who really needs to learn this stuff...
Or the lady at the post office...
Or the people in the GES parking lot at 3:15...
or...
or...
no really...just look in the mirror!

Random Thoughts XVI

2011-07-10T13:40:00.001-05:00

WHAT???
I remember as a kid, seeing a commercial for Cop Rock. If you have even heard of this tv show, you are either over 40 or a TV junkie like myself. The point is not that I'm a 40+ TV junkie, it's that when I was 10 year old, I watched that commercial and thought "Are they stupid?" I couldn't believe that anyone would think that a show about singing and dancing cops was a good idea.

I'm getting the same feeling as I look at commercials for Cowboys & Aliens. Really? I usually am a fan of Harrison Ford, so hopefully this movie isn't as stupid as it sounds. I will withold further judgement until I either see it, or it gets horrible reviews. Then I'm all on it.

Google+
I got an invite. Does this mean that I'm totally cool or what? Unfortunately, I don't have many contacts on there yet, so I don't know how totally cool Google+ would be...but if it requires an invite...it's got to be cool, right? Time will tell...

Want an invite? Leave a comment, and I'll send the first 5 comments an invitation.

True, but not

BH2 posted this link on my facebook wall last week. It's for this t-shirt:

If you talk to me, I will blog about it

I love it. It's partially true. But in many ways it's not. If it's funny, or silly, or irrelevant it's true.

If it's honest, potentially hurtful, or points the finger to those that might have hurt me, my family and my friends, then it's not. I've had a lot going on lately, and I have resisted the urge to rant.

See? I'm growing as a person. Not by much, but I'm growing. It's hard...because I like to rant!

Blueberries!
I went blueberry picking yesterday. There is a small blueberry farm near me, and I've gone every year since we moved to Greenville. I will be happy to tell you where it is..Tuesday. When I get back from picking again. I got enough for a blueberry Dump-Cake, and for the kids to graze on. Didn't get enough to make blueberry syrup. Must go back. If I tell you...there will be a run on blueberries and I'll be left with none.

I must say, my daughter has made great progress in her berry picking skills. When we first went 2 years ago, 2/3 of her bucket were green. Last year...probably 1/3. Yesterday? Not a single green berry. Very proud of my girl.

Have a great week...What do you have going on?

The Mommy Gene

2011-07-05T21:26:00.001-05:00

I've said many times before that I think I was born without the "Mommy Gene." It's the DNA code that makes you want to home school, or be a room-mother or plan elaborate birthday parties at Chuck-E-Cheese.

I will never home school.
I will not be a room mother.
The last time I set foot in Chuck-E-Cheese was when I got conned into going along to "help" with a birthday party when I was 17.

There are things that I just won't put myself through again.

I don't do children's ministry at church.
I don't take my kids to see Santa at the mall.
I don't take more than 2 kids with me when I have to grocery shopping.

So, while I'm a mother, I don't consider myself a "mommy."

For a long time, I've beat myself up over this. I've felt guilty for the long list of things that I "should" be doing in order to nurture my children and create good future-adults. I don't take them to playgroups, or go to the library often enough. I don't enroll them in lots of sports or extra-curricular activities. I try to keep things within reason as much as possible. At least my version of reason.

There have been times when I have seriously blown it. I've screamed like an idiot, lost my temper, lost my patience, wished I could be anywhere else but here.

But...

My kids are clothed, they are fed, they are healthy, they are safe. There has not been a day of their lives that they have not heard me tell them "I love you."

I may not be able to give them as much as some women.
I give a heck of a lot more than others.
I am a Mom. I am theirs. It's genetic.

Hoarders

2011-07-04T21:50:00.001-05:00

If you would have asked me a few days ago if I had watched the show Hoarders, I would have told you yes. I thought I had. I guess just seeing the commercials was enough.

I watched an episode and a half today. I realized that I never actually had watched a whole episode before. I couldn't get through the 2nd episode today because I thought I might throw up. I joked on facebook that I was watching it to make myself feel better about my housekeeping.

Oh my goodness.

It worked.

My house felt pristine in comparison.

I got up and spent the next 3 1/2 hours cleaning, organizing, putting up pictures, moving furniture. I took care of a bunch of little odds and ends that have been on my mental to-do list for the last few months.

It felt good.

It felt productive.

It was motivating.

I can tell you with 100% certainty that you will NOT find the skeleton of a cat in my couch. A few cheetos, a quarter and a some pennies...but no carcasses.

Just thought you should know.

UPDATE: While walking this morning, I tried to tell my friend Angie about the 2nd episode. I hurled on the side of the road. Ewwww.....

Random Thoughts XV

2011-07-03T20:35:00.000-05:00

I've been busy. I've been introspective. I've been reading. I've been working. I've been picking up the same stupid toys, doing the same laundry and washing the same dishes. No time for blogging.

I'd rather be writing.
On a beach.
No...in a hotel.
In a hotel with room-service, wifi and a huge bath tub.
In a hotel with room-service, wifi, a huge bath tub and a Caribou coffee in the lobby.

But alas...I bring you some random things from the last few weeks.

Leaving on a jet-plane:
My son JD went on an adventure to a far away and mysterious land called Texas. He is hanging out with my brother (BH1) and his lovely wife for a few days. It was his first time on a plane (that he remembers) so he was a little nervous. Since he was stopping in Dallas, he felt the need to be in full Redskins Gear. I feel it brought out the blue in his slightly petrified eyes.

We went through all the fun and red tape of getting an unaccompanied minor checked in and through security. I must say that Southwest makes it pretty easy. They were already boarding when we got to the gate, so it was a quick goodbye, and then I got to sit there and watch his plane until it backed away.

I then made my way home slowly with stops at Panera, Target, Archiver's then back to Target. Before I even made it out of the 2nd stop at Target, he was already in Austin and on his way out for a day of fun.

Last night, he told Tom and I all his adventures. They included boating, tubing, going on his first plane trip. The highlight???? He got free soda on the plane. I shouldn't be surprised. He is only 11.

Herbs for the botanically challenged:
I saw this when I was grocery shopping this week:

I love cooking with fresh herbs. But to be honest, I throw away more than I use. I can't seem to keep them fresh in the fridge for very long. And it's not because I don't know what to do...it's because I have too many other things going on, and proper herb maintenance just isn't a priority for me.

I have grown herbs in the past, but I am not a gardener, in spite of what my inner Martha Stewart says. I've killed more plants from neglect than a person should be allowed to in their life time. So that isn't an option either.

I don't even know why I noticed this stuff, or how long it has been around. It's chopped basil in a tube. According to the package, it holds 3 bunches of chopped basil, and is good in the fridge for 3 months. It's made by an Australian company, Gourmet Garden.

I opened it up to use tonight and it smelled like summer. I love the smell of freshly chopped or torn basil. I squirted some in the pan where I was sauteing chicken, added some parmesean and instant faux-pesto. I bought Cilantro too, but I haven't tried it yet.

You need to get one of these:

If you don't already have your OWN redhead, do your best to find one to borrow occasionally. They are fun to have around. Even when they go through that "ask 17,000 questions every hour" phase.

Have a fantastic Independence Day* and a great week. What will you be grilling?

*my gift to you BH2

BL(a)s ROCK!!

2011-07-01T08:36:00.002-05:00

What is a BL(a) you ask?

A BL(a) is a determined, dedicated, competitive and slightly type-A personality that loves Bacon and has the butt to prove it.

It's my team for a Biggest Loser competition I'm in. Bacon Lovers (anonymous). And we rock. At least we rocked this week! Our little team of 7 women had the largest weight-loss percentage in the last 2 weeks. Everyone who comes to the meeting has to put $1 in a basket, so we got the cash for our 'charity' Bond Christian Service Camp.

So we are awesome.

But we are not the only awesome team. Every team is doing great. Pounds are being lost. Bodies are in motion. DQ is being avoided. I'm really proud of everyone participating. I forgot how many people are involved in the competition, but I think it's around 150.

Everyone is getting t-shirts too. Here is the logo on ours:

Yes, black t-shirts are kind-of warm when worn in Illinois in July. But who cares...we look tough. And when worn with black workout pants or shorts, we look like a force to be reckoned with. Which we are. But we will not be cocky. The team with the lowest amount of weight loss gets the ~~punishment~~ opportunity to bless FCC's Community Garden. We have decided as a team that we will ~~UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES PULL WEEDS~~ serve God and out community in some other way.

Here is another team's shirt:

Yes, their team name is "Those Darn Catholics". Isn't that AWESOME? At the first meeting we had, the organizer of the competition (Linda) kept referring to them that way and finally had to stop and say "No, really...That's their team name!" Apparently some of the people felt she was offending them...but no. Those darn catholics have a great sense of humor. And a killer shirt! I love the ingredients list:

Ingredients: drive, passion, faith, sweat, determination, pain, willpower, ibuprofen, reward, heating pad, commitment, success, tears, ice packs, energy, strength, pain, pride, sticktoitiveness, attitude, guts , glory AND love of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

They had me at ibuprofen.

They are women (and men) after God's own heart! We all are.

But the race is not over yet. We still have 6 more weeks. And then 2 months of continued training for the half-marathon.

That's a long time to avoid DQ...and bacon.

Pray for us!

War Games

2011-06-29T16:33:00.000-05:00

Do you remember when you first saw War Games?

OK...if you saw War Games when you're Mom and Dad had Retro-Movie Night at home, then this does not apply to you.

The computer system that kid had set up. It was pretty amazing at the time. A 'fantasy' about a high school kid that could...

1. Have HIS computer talk to OTHER computers
2. Have HIS computer call numbers randomly
3. Have HIS computer start a game of Global Thermonuclear war.
4. Order plane tickets?

I was a Freshman in High School at the time, and I couldn't believe that any kid could be THAT smart. Know THAT MUCH about computers and technology. Well guess what...

My kid might be chased by helicopters and running around NORAD soon. He's not a hacker. He thinks Global Thermo-Nuclear War is "stupid". But...he is building his own computer.

Right now.
This minute.
In my dining room.

When he told us last year that he wanted to build his own computer, we didn't really think he would follow through.

When he talked non-stop about what graphics card he chose, and what motherboard to get, we didn't really think he would follow through.

When he had a complete list, but no money, we thought he might be serious.

When he started mowing lawns and saving every penny, we took him to open a savings account.

When he had earned enough money to order the parts, from the power source to the gaming tower (and all sorts of bits and pieces in between) we cleaned out his account and ordered the parts. That was last Friday. He has been watching for the UPS man ever since.

I can't decide what I'm prouder/more amazed by...

The fact that he followed through
The fact that he had a dream and is achieving it
The fact that he knew he needed to get a bigger cooling thing-a-ma-jig that the one that was provided, and needed additional 12 cm fans and a 2 Terra byte hard drive and ....whatever.. .I have absolutely NO IDEA what he's talking about.

I'm very stinkin proud of that boy. Teenagers may be hard work...but they sure are worth it.

Incapacitated

2011-06-27T18:16:00.000-05:00

I've been out of sorts for the last few weeks. No real reason, just a lot going on.

It came to a head last Wednesday morning when I realized that my smart phone was broken. Cracked. Dead. Incapacitated. At first I joked...a girl without her smart phone...how sad. But by Saturday, I was a wreck. And it's not just because I'm addicted to my phone. Although that is part of it. But because I didn't realize how much I relied on it.

I don't memorize ANY phone numbers any more. I can still remember Heather's number...she was my BFF in 4th grade. But I couldn't tell you my husband's cell phone number. My contacts list has made me stupid.
I needed to check the weather on Saturday night, and couldn't just pull up the radar on my Accuweather app. I had to...deep breath...go to the Internet for that...the horror.
I couldn't listen to music while I went on my walk. My phone is my mp3 player.
I couldn't track my mileage while walking in silence. No Smartrunner app.
I didn't realize that I had gotten work email that needed to be responded to, and had to rush to get some reports completed at 4:35pm on Friday.
I can hardly text! My friend Beth VERY GRACIOUSLY lent me her old phone until my new one gets here, but the technology is just so 2000 and 8, and I can hardly figure out how to use it.

I honestly don't feel too bad about my reliance on my smart phone. I've been building up to this for years. I had a Palm Pilot before I really needed one, and came to rely on it for "everything." Little did I know in 2002 that my Palm Pilot was just the tip of the technology iceberg that was ahead for me.

I'm not the only one that loves my smart phone. Last weekend, we watched a special on the History Channel: Popular Mechanics-101 Gadgets that Changed the World. Guess what was #1, Numero-Uno, the best gadget on the list???? You got it...the smart phone. So it's not just me!

So, please Mr. UPS man...hurry here tomorrow. My new-to-me Palm Pre Plus will be on your truck with guaranteed Tuesday delivery. Please come right away. Apparently, I'm not only incapacitated without my phone, but I'm highly annoying as well.

What gadget are you a mess without?

Crap Cupcake

2011-06-22T16:36:00.000-05:00

I'm having a day. You know the kind.

And being delivered a surprise McDiet didn't even help.

The corn on top of the crap cupcake of my day is the fact that my phone broke. A girl without her smart-phone. This is serious.

And I want to stop whining about it.

Already did that at Bible Study this morning. Those poor girls. They are good friends to put up with me and my whining.

I've decided that I need to laugh.

So, in an effort to make you laugh along with me, I bring you my favorite 2 minutes of television.

I give you: Scrubs, The Musical:

What makes you laugh on a bad day?

Half-Pint vs The Captain: A death match

2011-06-21T08:58:00.001-05:00

I am a tv-addict since way back.

Way...way...WAY back.

Since before DVRs, Satellite TV, VCRs, Cable...a long time.

I was a tv addict when you still had UHF and VHF dials, and couldn't always get the shows to come in clear. I don't think I EVER watched Son of Svengooli without a ghost shadow. I won't age myself by saying it was before remotes. Because there were remotes when I was a kid. We just didn't have a tv that needed one until I was a bit older.

It's hard to remember that back in the day, choosing what to watch on TV was a serious business. We actually USED the TV guide. And you had to weigh the pros and cons of each choice. We didn't have 150 channels to choose from. Just 4 or 5. And if you watched one show, you couldn't record a different one. And shows only ran once in the fall, then in re-runs in the summer. That was it. If you missed it, you missed it. It was a highly primitive time in our country's history.

This can cause a lot of Anxiety when you are 7. I still remember dwelling on what to do in the fall of 1976. See, I was a faithful follower of Little House on the Prairie. Every Monday night at 7pm. Without fail. But suddenly...there was a choice to make.

Little House on the Prairie vs. the season premiere of The Captain and Tennille.

What is a 7 year old to do? This is a serious decision. It needed discussion, analyzation, probably charts and graphs (if I knew what charts and graphs were at that age). Ultimately, I made the decision to watch The Captain and Tennille, and then watch the re-runs of Little House on the Prarie in the summer. A wise choice, I felt at the time.

We have created a better world for our children...they will never have to deal with this type of stress. They will never have to make these type of weighty decisions. They will never have to wait months to see what is happening in Walnut Grove.

Spoiled...they're all spoiled!!!

What difficult decisions do you remember making about TV?

Random Thoughts XIV

2011-06-19T20:51:00.000-05:00

I love roman numerals. Just sayin'...

New Show for my Favorites on the TV list:
How the States got their Shapes on the History Channel. I've watched it a few times already, and I'm totally intrigued. This is one that I think I might have to buy. I was a history major in college. In part because I have a strange ability to remember trivial things for short periods of time. (In fact...just long enough to take the final each semester.) But also because I like to hear the stories of why things are the way they are. The way this show is presented is informative, entertaining and extremely clever. I highly recommend it. Much better than toothless-swamp-people-fishing-for-Japanese-whaling-ship-TV.

There is something to be said about being a neglectful housekeeper:
An unidentified and disgusting boy-child in my home made a mess on the toilet last night, and did not do a good job cleaning it up. As I was rushing around this morning, getting ready for church, and cleaning up the kitchen from the most amazing breakfast item ever invented, I noticed it...but instead of stopping and cleaning, I wished once again that I had a cleaning fairy, and finished the 17 things that were already in progress. I did feel a twinge of guilt when I saw Tom grab some cleaner and paper towels, but we were getting ready to leave for the day, so I continued to try and round up children and get them to the door and let the guilt go.

THANK-GOD!!!!!

Seriously, I'm totally thanking God that Tom took a few minutes to do that. Because it made him notice that there was no water coming to the toilet. Then it made him notice that he heard water running. Then he went downstairs to find 2" of water in the basement.

If I had been some sort of Disinfecting Queen, we would have left the house at 9:30am, and would have returned from a Father's Day-Out at 7:30pm...to find a new indoor pool.

Rain Rain Go Away...
That is all. Just go away for a while. Give us a break. Or go to Texas so that Debby and her family can have s'mores.

Bacon Lovers (anonymous) Update:

Our entire team got their 100 mile bracelets at the last meeting. We are all well passed 100 miles in exercise since the competition started. Counting down the days until The Rock-n-Roll Half Marathon we are walking on October 23rd. Two of our team mates were not there. 1 was sick, and 1 was in Mexico. But we gloated enough for all 7 of us. We were in 3rd place over all.

Happy Father's Day!!
It's my Dad's 42nd Father's Day.
It's my husband's 22nd.
It's my brother's 1st.
Hope you had a good day guys. I love you all!

This week's Random Question: What is your favorite TV show, and what show do you Hate beyond reason?

Early Happy Father's Day...a Re-Post

2011-06-17T10:19:00.000-05:00

In honor of my Dad and my husband...I am reposting this from a few months back. It was inspired by a phone call from my Dad where he encouraged me and told me how proud he was of me. Doesn't matter if you are 4 or 41, girls love their Daddy's. I'm a lucky girl, and so is Grace. Happy Father's Day, a few days early...

Daddys and Daughters

I have been thinking about Daddys and Daughters a lot lately. After 3 wonderful boys, and on the brink of middle-age, God saw fit to give me a daughter. I remember going to the ultra sound hoping and praying that there would be no boy parts, and I was filled with joy that finally I would be getting a girl. Until about 4 hours later. Suddenly, I changed my mind in a panic.

How do you change a girl's diaper?
What the heck is a polly pocket?
I'LL HAVE TO WALK DOWN THE PINK AISLE IN THE TOY DEPARTMENT!!!
The horror.

But I got over it, and I got used to the idea. And there are MUCH better clothes when shopping for a little girl. So 3 1/2 years ago, at the age of 37, after a weekend trapped at the hospital in Litchfield with false labor, and a Monday filled with a little pitocin and no epidural...I had a girl. And she was beautiful. And girl babies get bows in their hair at the hospital (this was something I didn't know, never having a girl before.) And I handed her to her father. And lost her forever.

She was Daddy's Princess from the moment that man set eyes on her. I knew that as the 4th and youngest child she would be pretty spoiled, but I had no idea. That little girl touched that man's heart and has not let go since. It's pretty sweet actually. Sometimes it's ridiculous. Often amusing. Always endearing.

Where Tom is, Grace is too. Poor guy. He can't even take a nap on a Saturday afternoon by himself. She has to play in the room he is laying down in, or read books next to him. I'm pretty sure that in Grace's eyes, the earth, moon and other planets revolve around Daddy. He is definitely her favorite. She has many Mommy moments as well. This is not a post about me being a jealous mother. This post is about that amazing bond between a Daddy and his little girl. Between a little girl and her Prince.

They are quite a pair. They even have their own little routines. She starts to pretend to sneeze, he grabs a hankie out of his pocket and holds it to her nose while she says Aaaa-cho! Then she thanks him very much. He asks her if she's spoiled, she says "No...you take care of me." She lines her shoes up with his. She has her own apps on his iPhone. They have a certain order he has to sing her songs at bed time. Yesterday, she was all dressed up (she must always wear dresses) and she decided that she was a Princess and he was her Prince. It was the Prince's job to hold her hand as they walked around the yard as she picked flowers. Smelling flowers naturally make you sneeze, therefore there was a lot of faux sneezing and chivalrous hankie providing.

I'm not sure why we were talking about this the other day, but Tom asked me if I was like that with my Dad. The answer was a resounding yes. I distinctly remember a very "lovely" orange/red/blue plaid couch in a TV room at our first house (I must have been 3 or 4) and watching EMERGENCY with my Daddy. I was wearing a Holly Hobby nightgown. I also remember standing at the window every 3rd morning waiting for Daddy to come home from work. (He was a full time firefighter back in the day.) I have lots of little moments that I remember.

It is strange looking down at the mirror that is your daughter's face. We look so alike at times it scares me. (I apologize in advance for the big butt, thick thighs and pug nose.) There are pictures of me at her age where I look like her long lost twin. There are times now that I wonder which of these early childhood moments will she remember most. Will she remember walking around the yard with her Prince holding a handful of daffodils? Will she remember the "Pirates in the sky" song he sings to her at night? I sure hope so.

I can still remember the feeling of the cool glass from the window on my forehead as I stood there waiting and watching for my Daddy to come home. Then giving him a big hug when he walked in the door, and smelling the "firehouse smell" on his clothes. Some memories are clear as day, others are foggy. But I remember stuff from when I was very little. Very special little fragments. There is more from when I was a bit older. Like the time we went fishing and it started to rain, then it started to pour, and we couldn't seem to make any headway out of the cove we were fishing in until FINALLY one of us realized we left the anchor in the water. And then that time, at the end of the aisle, when I was so excited to be at my own wedding that I forgot to let him give me a kiss, but later that day, having our dance together and seeing tears run down his cheeks.

So I am not jealous. And I think it's wonderful that they have such a connection. I hope they have thousands of very special fragments of memory to share down the road. Spoil away husband. Forgive me when I roll my eyes. I want my daughter to have lots of memories of both of us to fall back on someday. You have my blessing to spoil her in moderation.

But seriously, the pickles from your cheeseburgers??? Those are MINE!

Avoidance

2011-06-16T09:10:00.000-05:00

This is what I will be doing today to avoid thinking about why Sarcasm is from the devil*:

Clean off my desk
Schlep kids around to camp and play dates
Schlep teenagers around to mow yards
Watch the 2nd season of the West Wing
Relish in the fact that our entire team for the Biggest Loser got our 100 mile bracelets last night!
Mindlessly troll facebook
Contemplate the necessity of humidity
Watch some more West Wing
Twiddle my thumbs
Doodle
Read this post by Jon Acuff, and commit the 3rd item to memory: Creating your own Love Languages

*All this introspection and research on sarcasm has become to deep for me. I think there are varying degrees of sarcasm, and I hope that I am usually on the un-hurtful, un-bitter, un-cruel side of that spectrum. I wish there was a different word...but I can't dwell on that right now because my desk is a mess, kids need to be schlepped, and I've got a half-viewed episode of the West Wing in shiny new laptop that needs to be finished...

What are you avoiding today?

The Randomness of Diva Night

2011-06-15T10:26:00.000-05:00

Months ago, my friend Mindy sent me an IM about a concert she wanted us to go to. I had nothing planned for June 14th, so I said sure, made it pretty colors on my google calendar and titled it 'Diva Night with Mindy'

I should explain. Mindy and I were Closeted Diva's. Turns out, both of us can carry a tune. Both of us loved to sing, and neither of us ever did it in public. Until about 8 years ago when we sang with our Sunday School class. Then we did a duet in church. Then we got a new pastor who started a Worship Team. Then we were unleashed on the unsuspecting people of the First Baptist Church. Then we got a recording contract and went on tour.....

Wait...that last part didn't happen.

But we did become super close friends in the process. God is good in that way. And then, 2 weeks after the birth of her 3rd child....I moved.

I only live about 35 miles away. We talk on the phone, IM, facebook...but we rarely get to see each other. Especially not for 9 hours in a row. And NEVER without kids. So of course I said yes to the concert. Even if I had to call her 2 weeks ago and sheepishly ask her who it was we were going to see...

Turns out it was Hillsong United. Heaven's future house band. And I'll tell you about that in a second. But first, I can't tell you enough how great it was to get out with a dear friend and be ridiculous. And catch up. And find out things that couldn't be communicated through IM or the phone. And remember why we are friends in the first place. And she likes sarcasm. So I got to be me for a while.

So, about Hillsong United. Some things I noted:

For a moment, I thought our tickets were smack dab in the center of the young, beautiful, thin, trendy teenager section. But the entire group of young, beautiful, thin and trendy teenagers in front of us apparently couldn't read their tickets, and were in the wrong section...so dodged a bullet there.
It was less of a concert and more of a Worship service. It was amazing being there with those musicians playing the music that we sing week in and week out at church. There were times when the band wasn't even singing. Just playing background for the temporary Church we created. It was an amazing experience. I imagine people hearing The John Newton Trio play Amazing Grace felt the same way.
The skinnier the jeans get, the bigger the glasses get.
Just because you are a Christian doesn't mean you can't rock out.

Now for some randomness. Mindy just ordered "Best Seats Available" tickets. And they were really good. But there was no special planning involved. Just a click with her mouse. And of all the seats in the entire arena...out of thousands of ticket sold...the seats right next to us belonged to...

Friends, neighbors, very special people. Darryl is the Pastor of FCC, and Sally is the wind beneath his wings, and fellow Biggest Loser competitor (although she is on an enemy team!) I love these two, and it was great worshiping with ~~Sally while Darryl was constantly checking the Oriole's score~~ both of them.

All in all a very random and fantastic night filled with wasabi (did you know that wasabi is horseradish?), pretzel rolls (or not), bad mochas, great music, Corn-acopia, Toffee, Double Big Gulps and amazing people.

God is good.

All the time.

Sarcasm...my definition

2011-06-14T08:10:00.000-05:00

sar·casm
[sahr-kaz-uhm]
–noun

1. harsh or bitter derision or irony.
2. a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark: a review full of sarcasms.

OK...when you put it that way, I don't want to call myself a sarcastic person. A sarcastic person by this definition someone who is mean, bitter, cruel and generally unlikeable.

I would hope that's not me. I know that I'm whiny, cranky, opinionated and occasionally obnoxious, but I don't think that I'm cruel.

My kids might tell you I'm cruel. How can I ask them to clean their rooms and help out around the house? Only a cruel person would do that!!

But I would hope my friends, the rest of my family and the public at large would not think I'm cruel.

I've been doing a lot of reading about sarcasm in the last day. It's been very enlightening. The articles and posts that I have found either make me cringe, or make me laugh out loud. There does not appear to be much of a middle ground.

...sigh...

I was hoping that this would just be a platform to post some Pro-Sarcasm links, some Anti-Sarcasm quotes, make a few jokes, then move on to whatever was rattling around in my brain next. But alas, no. Turns out, I'm going to have to actually defend myself. Ahhh...being defensive...good times.

So I will start my defense of sarcasm by giving MY definition of it:

sar·casm

[sahr-kaz-uhm]
–verb

1. The act of finding the funny in any situation
2. Identifying opportunities to make people laugh, usually at the expense of self
3. Identifying the ridiculous for the benefit of those who may not notice
4. The act of saying out loud what others notice, but will not say
5. An occasional release of frustration

That is how I would define sarcasm. First of all, it is an verb and not a noun. To me, it is something that you do, not something that just sits there. Secondly, it is more about lightening a mood, and creating an environment of laughter, and less about cutting people down or being cruel.

I think this is why I prefer the word Snark.

So, thoughts on my definition? And am I even allowed to re-define a word? Is there a law about that?

Sarcasm: Friend or Foe?

2011-06-13T09:18:00.000-05:00

I am a sarcastic person. I prefer to use the term "Snarky." It seems less negative.

My sarcasm is such a part of my personality, that there are times that I don't even realize that I have been sarcastic. Or that a comment that I felt was benign could be taken as sarcasm.

Here is an example:

Me: Nathan, take out the garbage.
Nathan: Why do you always have to be all sarcastic like that?

OK...I might have made that one up. But hopefully you get my idea.

So this week, I will be exploring Sarcasm in all it's infamous glory.

There are those that hate it.

There are those that love it.

There are those that just don't plain understand it.

I was called out on my sarcasm this past week, and I've been thinking about it a lot. Dwelling on it actually. My first response is naturally to get all defensive and list the top 452 reasons that Sarcasm is Good. But all the good quotes about Sarcasm all point out how it is bad. Is there a middle ground? Is this just a pride thing for me?

So I will start on my week of introspection with a poll. Please respond in the box on the right side of my blog. Just above the facebook like box. Hey, while you're there, click on the like box too!

In the meantime, finish this sentence:

Sarcasm is...

Random Thoughts XIII

2011-06-12T18:54:00.000-05:00

It's been a crazy week!

Old Lady Math:

41 year old Mother of 4
+ 32 oz McDiet
+ Cat allergy induced Sneezing Attack
Disaster

And that's all I got to say about that.

Make these...

I made these for Peter's birthday. They were pretty yummy, if I do say so myself. Although, mine were not as pretty as the picture! And for the record, 1 cupcake will cure the crankies.

Image from Kevin & Amanda
Recipe from Annie's Eats

Water Aerobics: Not just for Grandma
I went to the Community pool on Thursday for water aerobics. It was hysterical. First of all, I was in the deeper section of the pool along with some awesome and crazy chicks. So while all the smart and well behaved women were only up to their waist, I was up to my neck. It made it harder to run, hop, lunge and skip back and forth. It was actually a pretty good work out. Highly suggest it.

My blog has a facebook page
please like it by clicking here. If I get 200 likes by the end of the week, I'll give away a bike seat to one lucky reader.

Breakfast and a Movie
We went to church last night, and this morning had breakfast and a movie. French toast casserole, bacon (of course) and Toy Story 3. In spite of all my efforts, I still was bawling like an idiot at the end. At least this time, it was in the comfort of my own home, and not at the All Church Movie Night like last year. I was so worried about everyone seeing my 'ugly cry' face that I left my purse behind. And it wasn't like last week when it was playing in the van while I drove home from my parents house. Sobbing on the interstate...good times. There will be a day when I will be able to watch Andy give Bonnie the box...of toys...and then...Woody...bottom..."snake in my boot"...play...drive away...left Woody...

This blog is experiencing technical difficulties as the writer has flooded her keyboard...please enjoy the music...

I can't think of anything else...
I probably can, but right now, I'm too obsessed with the fact that I have 1,167 calories left to eat for the day, and desperately want a blizzard. (Georgia Mud Fudge with no Coco Fudge) This is difficult because I don't want to go get it. Tom can't go get it because BOTH little kids fell asleep on his lap. I have the Best. Husband. Ever. He brought me a McDiet this afternoon while I was hauling pea gravel all over our yard. He totally redeemed himself after yesterday's 'Cheerios in my coffee' fiasco.

Have a great week...

Who am I and what happened to that lazy chick?

2011-06-11T15:06:00.000-05:00

So far today I have:

Weeded the plant beds in my front yard.
Dug up an annoying bush
Trimmed some less annoying bushes
Took a bike ride with my son to run some errands and to the bank
Rode an extra 3 miles just because I felt like it
~~Hit the McDonald's Drive Thru~~ Hunted and gathered food for my family.
Washed my mini-van.
De-bugged my mini-van.
Bathed 50% of my children.

Here is the weird part...I still want to go for a walk or another bike ride!?!?!?!

The girls of BL(A) have inspired me. The last month of walking and exercising with my gang of girls has helped me get out of my sedentary funk. Also, the fact that I seem to be sleeping much better is making a huge difference as well.

One major downside is that I absolutely stink right now. So as much as I'd like to become the next great American Athlete, I think it's time I take a shower.

What are you doing this weekend?

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

2011-06-10T08:43:00.001-05:00

Ask any woman what is more painful than an episiotomy and they all will say the same thing.

Or at least they will agree when you mention this one thing. Because honestly, I don't think anyone goes around dwelling on the pain of an episiotomy all that much.

But you mention this one thing, and it is a UNIVERSAL chorus of agreement.

The one thing that is more painful than an episiotomy is...

A bike seat.

I mean SERIOUSLY...what is up with that???? Who in their right mind can sit on a factory installed bike seat and not feel like their nether regions are being assaulted? ~~I stole~~ My Mom gave me her bike that has been hanging in her garage forever, and I decided that I'm going to ride it for errands and such around town. Took it out Sunday night for about 20 minutes and....oh...my...goodness...the...pain....

That is why there are so many "after market" seats available. Big, comfortable, cushy, grannie seats.

Ahhh...

Here is the one that that my wonderful husband put on for me Tuesday.

I was actually amazed because while the nether regions are still sore from Sunday's bike ride, I felt NO PAIN with this seat. The downside is that it is more of a "Tush Rest" and less of a "Seat", and it feels like you are sliding forward...but I am happily choosing the sliding over the pain.

It's called a No Nose Saddle, and it's made by Schwinn and available at Walmart. I've been trying to find a link for it, but I can't find this particular model on line anywhere. (Tried Schwinn, Walmart, Amazon...no luck). It was worth the $24.98 or whatever it was I paid for it.

Now if only I could do something about the fact that there is NO WAY to get back to my house without going UP a hill....sigh...

So long Mer…

2011-06-09T08:01:00.000-05:00

Meredith Viera left the Today Show yesterday. I'm a little sad. Yesterday I was more than a little sad. I cried. I'm a dork that way.

I've watched the Today Show since I was home on maternity leave after I had my oldest. I remember sitting in our really ugly recliner, snuggling my newborn when Katie Couric announced she was expecting. My parents watched Good Morning America when I grew up, so this felt a little rebellious to me, watching a completely different show. Nearly 16 years later, I still watch Today almost every morning. My kids know not to ask to change the channel. It's futile.

So last month when the news came out that Meredith was leaving, I was bummed. I really like her. And for her to be gone so quickly concerns me. It seems that in the news business, the time from "The Announcement" to "The Farewell" is much longer. It almost seems to drag out. This was pretty quick. I sincerely hope that there is not a more serious, yet undisclosed reason for her to be leaving.

It was an awesome farewell though! Did you see it? There was the usual taped segments from celebrities, and a mushy song with a grand piano by Carol King. But then they did an awesome segment involving everyone involved with the Today Show, from Matt, Ann and Al to the security guards and Abe Vigoda (huh?).

Talk about going out on top, right? I mean, you really have to be loved for people to go to that much trouble. That was beyond a clip segment and a cake rolled out on a cart.

I think I like Meredith so much because of the person she is, and not because of her skills as a news person. She is funny, irreverent, sarcastic, sincere, loving and playful. She is always herself. She messed with Matt like he was a pesty brother. She ran marathons with Al. She challenged herself. She was honest

She referred to her charm bracelet yesterday. I remember her talking about it before. It was given to her by her husband and kids the day before she started on the Today Show. I think she even lost it at one point and they replaced it. She admitted then, and she admitted yesterday that she was so scared. I mean, who admits that? Here she was, an anchor of one of the highest rated morning programs admitting to fear and insecurity? I-Heart-Meredith for that.

She is not prim and proper. I love that about her.
She is really funny. I envy that about her.
She is sarcastic. I adore that about her.
She is honest. I admire that about her.
She is human. I respect that about her.

I'll miss you Meredith. 7am isn't going to be the same without you!

Six

2011-06-07T07:54:00.000-05:00

Six years ago today at 3:10am, God chose to give to me a gift. I was a reluctant recipient, as I felt I was done with the "child bearing" portion of my life. In His infinite wisdom, He knew I was wrong.

The first thing I noticed was the bright red hair. That is the first thing everyone notices about my gift.

Upon closer inspection, they find that underneath that mop of red curls is one of the silliest, craziest, cutest, rambunctious, loving and exuberant little humans to ever walk on this planet.

This gift is proof that God knows what is best for us, even when we don't.

My very precious Peter Andrew is 6 today. Thank you God, for this little boy.

Baby it's hot outside...

2011-06-06T16:22:00.000-05:00

It's Africa hot...

My phone fell out of my bag in the van and was sitting on the front seat. It's shut itself down and won't turn back on.

The dog looks like she's gonna die.

And it's only June 6...sigh...

Random Thoughts XII

2011-06-05T18:08:00.002-05:00

The kids and I took a few days and went up north this weekend to my parents house. I present to you...Random Thoughts, The Mini-Vaca Edition:

You know your children were raised "country" when...
They run to the windows and stare up into the sky wondering what that loud noise is up in the air!! "It's called an airplane sweetie!"

Two great thing about walking in the suburbs:

Paved walkways. I got to walk along the Fox River and through beautiful parks. It was really nice. Except for all the "land-mines" left behind by the Canadian Geese.
Better shadows. Being 250 miles north of home means that the sun is at a very slight, yet very important, different angle. When it is directly behind you at 7:30am in the Chicago suburbs, your butt doesn't look NEARLY as big as it does in South-Central Illinois.

He loves me! He really loves me!
BH2 and his lovely wife and daughter came to my Mom and Dad's Saturday to celebrate Peter's birthday. Back in November, BH2 ~~forced me to watch~~ introduced me to the BBC America program Top Gear. It has become a favorite in our house. It is truly one of the funniest and best produced shows on TV today. Seriously, you should watch it...even if you are not a car person! I know there is an American version now, but I haven't seen it yet. I'm afraid they will ruin a good thing. Just like Trading Spaces and Changing Rooms.

Anyway... I came out of the house yesterday to find this on the Mini-Van:

If you haven't watched the show...you are totally uncool, and this means nothing to you. If you don't get BBC America, you can watch it online or on Netflix, and you can become cool and "in the know!"

If you have watched the show...you are a totally cool person, I'm glad to know you, and isn't this awesome??? It combines good TV and vinyl...what's not to love??

Some sad news...
The absolute WORST TELEVISION PROGRAM EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE had it's season premiere on Friday. I hate the show, I hate the premise, and hate that my family loves a show about a bunch of self-righteous, arrogant, eco-terrorists. Yes, the world is a vampire...but those idiots don't deserve air-time, or a link to the show in my blog!!

Have a great week!!!

An Open Letter of Apology

2011-06-03T14:54:00.003-05:00

Dear Mom and Dad:

I would like to apologize to you.

I am sorry for all the times that I fought and pestered my brothers in the car while driving on road trips. I had no idea that the constant bickering, whining and arguing caused a physical reaction in you. I was completely unaware of the rise in blood pressure, the pounding headache and the potential ulcer that my behavior was causing you. I also was unaware of the immense restraint that you had by your choice to NOT pull over to the side of the road and beat me within an inch of my life.

I also want to apologize to you because I didn't realize that it was possible for you to be physically injured at those times that you did succumb to your need to pull over on the side of the road and justifiably scream at us. I never realized that the act of pulling over on the side of the interstate, slamming on your breaks, then twisting around to yell at us could cause a neck injury that would last several days.

Lastly, I would like to apologize for the times that I interfered and acted as if I was the parent to my younger siblings. I assure you at the time that I thought I was helping, especially since most times you said the exact thing that I just said. I didn't realize that by stepping in for you, and disciplining, training or otherwise bossing over my brothers that I was in actuality being a total pain in the...butt.

I love you both very much. I am so glad that I had the opportunity to drive up here this weekend with my 4 children.

Love, Steph

PS....Do you mind if I run out for a few minutes...I'll be right back...I will...Honest! I just have to run to Target and get some BenGay or something...I seem to have done something to my neck.

Bacon Lovers (Anonymous)

2011-06-02T09:17:00.001-05:00

I've joined a Biggest Loser Team this summer.

We are a group of women who have let our love of Bacon go awry.

We are small (in number) but mighty (in competitiveness).

Last night at our meeting, we had to create a "Coat of Arms" for our team. Ours was less a coat of arms and more like a celebration of our craziness:

The "Bacon Guy" was created by one of the daughters of our members. Here is the original:

Of course, there will be t-shirts. And what self-respecting group of crazy women would NOT have a logo? Here's ours:

We are competing to raise money for Bond Christian Service Camp. Or, more accurately, we are "Shakin' our Bacon" for them.

Our verse is 1 Corinthians 10:23-
23 “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is constructive.

And to prove that we are hard-core, serious Losers, we registered yesterday for the Rock'n'Roll Half-Marathon in St. Louis on October 23rd. We are walking it. But walking 13.1 miles in less than 4 hours will still be a challenge. I've been complaining without ceasing about it, but I'm really excited.

We are all SUPER competitive. Last night we had an "eat this/not that" contest. We were soooo close to winning it. We are still protesting one of the questions we got wrong.

Which is over-all healthier?
1 md Apple with 1 T Peanut Butter OR 1 Slice Whole wheat bread with 1 T Peanut Butter.

We felt that the Apple with peanut butter was overall healthier because they have a similar calorie and fat content, but the apple is a whole food, while the bread is processed. They say we were wrong.

What do you think??

The Great Productivity Experiment

2011-06-01T08:49:00.002-05:00

I don't know how great of an experiment that it actually is. It's more like I finally decided that I had to get it together and figure out a way to work from home. Whatever I was doing just wasn't hacking it.

I have really been struggling with a lack of motivation, a lack of direction and a lack of discipline. It's kind of inconvenient that this was happening at the same time as an increase in my work load. And unfortunately for EVERYONE, my whining is inversely proportional to my productivity. I apologize.

Everything I read or hear lately seems to be on motivation or productivity, or some tangent of the two. It's been God's version of rubbing my face in the my dilemma. Or it's that I'm finally noticing all the productivity and motivation stuff that is out there to read. Kind of like when you are pregnant, and suddenly you see pregnant women everywhere.

Our sermon series at Metro-Vandalia for the last few weeks was called Bouncing Back. The summary of the series is how to come back from those set backs and disappointments we all experience. It has been more toe stepping-on, and face rubbing-in for me. It seems like God has been saying "Yo! Steph!!" Yes, God would say say YO! "Quit your whining and just GET. IT. DONE! Then you can go play!"

2 weeks ago, the scripture was from 2 Peter 1. Here's a part of it:
⁵ For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; ⁶ and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; ⁷ and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love

For right now, at this point in my life...I decided to focus on the self control and perseverance parts. In the process, I have developed the ability to spell perseverance without looking and without spell check! WINNING!

I will not lie and say that I have exhibited complete self-control during the last few weeks. But I can say that I made a fairly successful effort to keep my online distractions to a minimum.

I will not lie and say that I have completely persevered these last few weeks. But I can say that I have been able to manage my time better and get more accomplished. AND I'm completely caught up with work for the first time in weeks.

A very wise woman I know once said to her children "You could be done if you would just finish!"

Words to live by!

Blah Blah Blah!!!

2011-05-31T11:14:00.000-05:00

We have a new dishwasher. It was installed today.

The old one has been dead for a year. We I have been hand-washing dishes several times a day for 12 months.

I know that I have 4 dishwashers in my house, and that I could have saved the money and trained them to do the dishes.

Blah blah blah.

I know there are many people out there that have survived perfectly well over the years without a dishwasher.

Blah blah blah.

I know there are people in the world without clean drinking water, and that I am a spoiled American that has a special machine whose exclusive use is to clean off the over abundance of dishes we dirty with our over abundance of food that makes us fat and lazy.

Blah blah blah.

This is one of those moments in my life where I'm sticking my fingers in my ears and singing "La la la la la la la la la la la la la" and completely ignoring you. My inner toddler is very happy right now.

That is all.

Bounce!!

2011-05-30T21:54:00.000-05:00

When was the last time you were on a trampoline? Do you even remember?

I am happy to report that the last time I was on a trampoline was about 2:00 this afternoon. My little girl asked me to bounce with her, and bounce with her I did.

We got a new trampoline for the kids Saturday. Came home and put it right up. Tom and I didn't even fight during the assembly process. This is HUGE, seeing as we learned a long long time ago that we don't get along well while doing manual labor together. We have solved this problem by dividing and conquering to get a job done. This way, things get accomplished, harsh words are not shared, and divorce lawyers are never contacted. (It's worked for nearly 20 years...I think we will stick with it!)

The kids were so excited, and couldn't wait to get on there. We had a trampoline in the past, but it wore out and wasn't safe anymore, so they have been without for a couple years. It was a surprise "Daddy Gift" for Christmas many moons ago. It wasn't long before JD was trying out the flips he had mastered back in the day.

Here are some observations about owning a trampoline:

It is impossible not to smile or laugh while bouncing.
According to Peter (5) it is better to bounce in jammie pants with no shirt on.
Princesses like to bounce and twirl on their own, but don't like to be knocked around.
Kids love it when their parents bounce with them.
Kids will tell you that you make the mat go down really low because you are fat.
Kids will apologize for calling you fat.
Neighbor kids suddenly become more friendly.
Teenage boys can bounce so high that you fear they are going to bounce OVER the safety net.
Teenage boys secretly WANT to bounce, but are too cool to do it with an audience.
Teenage boys WILL bounce when begged to by little brothers and princesses.
You can burn 78 calories for every 15 minutes you spend bouncing with your kids.
Bouncing can become addictive.

Random Thoughts XI

2011-05-29T17:16:00.000-05:00

Yeah, this won't cause any problems later on:
I was amazed when I read this early last week. Apparently, a couple in Canada decided NOT to inform anyone of their baby's gender after it was born. Only the two brothers (5 and 2) and the 2 midwives that assisted in the delivery know the baby's gender. It's name is Shadow. They want the child to have the freedom to choose it's own identity. You can watch the Today Show segment on the story here.

After shaking my head and thinking "What the heck?" I remembered that Seinfeld episode where Kramer decides to go ahead and start Daylight Savings Time early. Jerry's response: "This won't cause any problems". Hilarity ensues.

The Rock'n'Roll Half Might kill me!
Or at least the training for it will. We have 22 weeks. We are walking. It's totally doable. But the two women who have instigated this craziness both have much longer legs, and walk much faster. They walk so far ahead of me that they are in a different zip code. It's not until October 23rd. Maybe I'll have a growth spurt?? Think it could happen??

If you register on Wednesday, June 1st , you can save on your registration for any Rock'n'Roll Marathon or Half-Marathon. So you may be dead, but you will leave your family $13 more than otherwise!

Church Picnic!!
We had a church picnic today. I had to leave early because it was super windy and my allergies exploded. It was pretty gross. BUT, there was a ton of good food, and the kids loved running around.

Tom told me that there was some really good Strawberry Shortcake stuff on the dessert table, and that I should try it. I told him I brought it. He said we had to leave early, and take the rest home.

I believe that calories eaten at a church picnic do not count. Or, more correctly, I will not count any calories that I ate at the church picnic.

School's Out!
Heaven help me. Working at home has been a struggle for me recently. I'm wondering how I will handle it with a house full of kids. Maybe they can move out and live on the trampoline?

Have a great week!

Date Night!

2011-05-28T21:40:00.003-05:00

Well, it wasn't really a date, and it wasn't really at night.

But there was lunch and hand holding involved. And no kids. So that kind of counts, right?

My husband and I decided to take the day to ourselves. We left the kids at home with the oldest in charge. With a shopping list in hand, and the mini van empty, we headed out.

We wanted 2 things: A dishwasher and a lawn mower.

And by "WE" I mean I wanted a dishwasher and HE wanted a lawn mower.

Our dishwasher died last summer. We were fortunate to get some extra money this week, and Tom suggested we use some of it for that. I love him.

We shopped around first. Went to a few stores seeing what was available, and shopping around for bargains.

We decided to go back to Sears. We waited around for someone to help us. Finally, we were helped, and told that they don't keep them in stock, and we would have to come back in a week to pick it up.

Goodbye Sears!

We went to Home Depot. After I decided on what I wanted, I had to hunt down an employee. When she finally wandered back to the appliances, she told me they didn't keep them in stock, and they don't deliver to my town.

Goodbye Home Depot!

We then went back to Lowe's. Before I decided on ANYTHING, I asked if they had dishwashers in stock. Yes they did. Whoo Whoo Lowe's! It's being installed Tuesday. I'm a happy girl.

Tom got his lawnmower in all that shopping too.

It wasn't on the list, but the kids got a Trampoline.

We put the trampoline together without fighting.

I'm a happy girl.

Towanda!

2011-05-25T21:24:00.001-05:00

I saw this status on facebook the other day:

I think it should be perfectly legal (and encouraged) to swerve at and/or clip a car whose driver is texting while driving.

I immediately thought of this:

People do all sorts of stupid stuff while driving, and I often wish that I could dispense consequences for them.

I mean, who hasn't seen some idiot throw a cigarette butt out their window and DIDN'T want to go all Fried Green Tomatoes on them?

We are all filled with some level of road rage. If you deny it, you are lying to yourself.

That is why my children walk home from school. I avoid that parking lot around 3pm AT-ALL-COSTS! I am afraid that there may be an afternoon where suddenly I snap and start ramming the mini-van into cars parked in the drive-through lane.

Today created a perfect scenario for Rage-By-Caravan. An ominous forecast, a completely confusing and ill-timed Alert-Now message and days of television coverage of the destruction in Joplin combined to create a new level of parking lot hell.

Thankfully, one of Greenville's finest came and saved the day. And saved me from my darker side.

Joplin

2011-05-24T18:08:00.002-05:00

When natural disasters occur, 99.999999% of the time, I have absolutely no connection with the people involved whatsoever. I don't know anyone in Japan. I don't know anyone who lived in New Orleans. I don't know anyone who lives in Tuscaloosa. I don't know anyone in Joplin.

But I do business with people who live in Joplin.

We haven't been able to get in contact with them by email. Or by phone.

I've googled where there office is.

I've compared it to aerial imagery of the destruction that I found on a news website.

It doesn't look like their office is there anymore.

I don't know these people. I don't know their kids names, or where they go to church, or where they live.

But I know that I have emailed back and forth with them more than I do my Mom.

I don't know anything about these people. Yet I've been praying for their kids, and their churches, and their homes.

But mostly for them.

Erin, I hope you are OK.

UPDATE 5/25: I just got an email, and while their building was destroyed, the staff and their families are OK.

It's just not fair!!

2011-05-23T20:36:00.000-05:00

Today, I was all by myself. Last day of trading pre-schoolers with my friend. I had some work to do, but finished that up early so I got to go to my happy place...Target.

I live 40 minutes from the closest Target. This is the ONLY regret I have about living in the middle of nowhere. Well, Target and Caribou Coffee. I'm several hours away from the closest 'Bou.

But I digress...

I unexpectedly ran into some friends, and we decided to meet up at Panera Bread. I-HEART-PANERA!! Since I leave near St. Louis, they still call it St. Louis Bread Company here...but we all know that it's really Panera.

I was very excited to hand the cashier my MyPanera card, and even more excited to learn that I had earned a free sweet! I debated...Shortbread Cookie....Cinnamon Chip Scone....Shortbread Cookie...Cinnamon Chip Scone.

Scone won.

We ate and I did battle with the free Wi-Fi log in page vs. my Palm Pre so that I could log my lunch into myfitnesspal.com (that does NOT have a WebOS app...unlike) Oh my word, am i a geek or WHAT???

Guess how many calories are in a Cinnamon Chip Scone from Panera!

Guess! Now! Say it out loud!

600.

600!

SIX-HUNDRED!!!!!!!!

It's just not fair.

I promised the skinny little college girls at the next table that I was NOT a freak, and gave them the scone. It was still in the bag. I hadn't even looked at it. I knew that if I saved it to bring home, I would eat it on the drive.

I'm weak that way.

600!! Even if I shared it with one of my friends, it would have still been 300.

Sharing it amongst the 3 of us wasn't an option. 1/3 of a scone isn't worth 200 calories, and who wants 1/3 of a scone? That's just crazy talk.

It's just not fair.

But at least it was free. If I would have paid for that sucker, I would have totally eaten it...then walked for 2 hours to work it off, complaining the whole time.

Dieting sucks.

Random Thoughts X

2011-05-22T17:22:00.002-05:00

One week of school left....Serenity now.

A Tale of Two Rose Bushes:
I'm sitting outside in front of my house right now. (I love the 21st Century!) There is going to be a storm soon, so it's overcast and windy. The temperature is nice though, and I just finished a walk, so it's a great time to cool down.

From where I'm sitting, I can see 2 rose bushes. The first one was here when we moved in. It had been neglected for years and was little more than a twig with a few leaves on it.   Shortly after we moved in, my neighbor from across the street helped me weed the overgrown and untended plant beds in the front yard. She wanted to yank the bush out. I thought we should wait. I'm glad we did. This will be the 4th summer that we have lived in this house. The bush is beautiful now, pale yellow flowers with blush pink edges. I hope it can survive Grace. She has already yanked off two blooms.

The other rose bush was a gift. Our church family gave it to us when we moved here. They had a going away cook out, and presented us with an evening of good food, kind words and pink roses. The same neighbor knew right where it should go, and planted it for me on the day we moved in. I will always think of them when I look at it. And I'll miss them.

I went back to that town this week to get my 'hair did' and now I'm a bit nostalgic.   Driving through town, so much had changed, and so much has stayed the same. It's only 37 miles away, and with facebook, I know about what is going on with everyone, but to realize Brooks will GRADUATE this year, and Delaney will be in HIGH SCHOOL! That's not supposed to happen. It's one thing to deal with MY kids growing up, but to see my friend's kids grow up...sigh...

This may be Proof that Bacon Jumped the Shark:

Prosecutors: Couple ordered bacon shakes after leaving body
By Ruth Fuller Special to the Tribune May 13 at 12:33 p.m.
After driving Melissa Best’s dead body to the parking lot of a Grayslake apartment complex, Charles Best’s wife picked him up in her car and the couple went to Denny’s for bacon milkshakes, prosecutors said Friday.

Seriously?!?!?! I like bacon and all, but I'm pretty sure that after disposing of a dead body, I'd be jonesing for a French Toast Grand Slam myself.*

Cool Blogs this week:
Jeff Goins is a writer, and blogs daily writing tips. I spent a good deal of time going through his archives last night.
http://goinswriter.com/writing-voice/

Not sure how I came upon this artist's blog, but I LOVE this guitar.  Be careful though, it's one of those blogs with a sound track, but it doesn't start right away, and scares the pants off of me every time.
http://soggydogstudios.blogspot.com/p/wet-paint.html

Cool Books this week:
My to-do list was caught up, so I had a few guilt free hours in the afternoon to FINALLY get to open up Francine Rivers' Her Mother's Hope (Marta's Legacy). I figured I would read a bit in the afternoon, and work on the book over the next few days. Uh....NO. Read straight through the afternoon, through the Nascar All-Star Race, ignored my children and husband and finished at 1:30am. Francine Rivers has this ability to completely suck you in to some-one else's life. Highly recommend it... Have some kleenex, don't plan on cooking. Luckily, the 2nd book in the series Her Daughter's Dream (Marta's Legacy) is on my nightstand. But I'm not going to let myself start it until later in the week.

Have a great one!!! What do you have going on this week?

*You know that was sarcasm, right? Seriously...I'm a Moons over My Hammy girl.

31 Days to Clean!!! I'm throwing in the towel!

2011-05-21T07:14:00.001-05:00

At the end of April, I committed to a group to do the 31 Days To Clean Homemaker's Challenge. I'm done. 11 days early. No, my house isn't clean.

This book is good. There are a number of thought provoking and inspirational essays within here that will really help you evaluate where you are, why you are there, and how to get to where you want to be.

But it's a little to ambitions for me...at this time.

I have a problem with over committing and underestimating how much time I actually would have to complete something. This has been the case with this book...times 31!

My suggestion:

Get this book, read it through in a month...use it as a devotional, or an inspirational thing. But don't commit to a 31 Day challenge only 3 days after receiving it.

Go through a month first, read all the essays, and do the Mary Challenges. Those are funner anyway. You get to invite people over, and visit, and talk, and think, and read and journal. Much funner!

THEN, the next month, go through and do all the Martha Challenges. Commit at least an hour a day. Sometimes more. Not as fun as there is scrubbing and organizing and washing of window treatments. Blech...

In reality, we all know what we need to do to have a clean home. We just don't do it. Here is what I am going to do in the next month to try and make it happen here in my casa:

I will share responsibility of this house with ALL WHO LIVE HERE!! (Kids...you have been warned.)
I will get rid of HALF THE TOYS!! (Kids...you have been warned.)
I will work on ONE ROOM AT A TIME!
I will start developing a semi-structured routine.
I will NOT get halfway through the month and forget that I'm NOT the only one who lives here, and remind myself that THE KIDS CAN PICK UP THEIR OWN CRAP!
I will NOT be obsessed.
I will NOT whine.
I will not join any more Challenges until I've looked at what they ACTUALLY entail, and see if I have the time for it.
I WILL loose 30 lbs and find that cute pink dress!

Houston, we Seriously have a problem

2011-05-20T08:42:00.000-05:00

So here's the deal. There is a bunch of stuff bouncing around in my head right now that I want to write about. I have about 5 posts started. Yet, they sit there unfinished and unpublished.

This, for once, is not a procrastination thing. I have the time and willingness to write.

It is that I can't (or don't want) to write about the big important stuff right now.

I don't want this blog to be about my struggles with weight. Therefore, I don't want to post about the amazing group of women that I've joined to compete with in a Biggest Loser competition. A group of strong, highly motivated, incredibly dedicated, hysterically funny Christian women that have named the group "Bacon Lovers (Anonymous)" and will be training to walk a half-marathon in October.

I don't want this blog to be about dealing with Teenagers. Therefore, I don't want to post about the break-through my son had last night at his sectionals track meet. He has been having some rough months, and I feel like I've been praying without ceasing while banging my head against a brick wall. As I sent out a text to friends and some family last night asking for prayer, I said that he was sure he was going to fail, and he needed God to prove him wrong. I realized later, as I stood there screaming, cheering and watching him take 33 seconds off his personal best in the 3200, that I needed it too. That I needed to see God prove him wrong as well. I needed to know that all my praying and head banging had been for something.

I don't want this blog to be about my constant whining about cleaning, working from home, parenting, horrible Sunday night television programming.

I don't want this blog to be about me.

I don't know what I want this blog to be about.

Therefore, we have a problem...

Blog Block!

2011-05-17T22:42:00.001-05:00

The writer of this blog is suddenly undergoing some sort of blockage, and hopes to resume her witty and insightful ramblings shortly.

In the meantime...wasn't The Good Wife awesome tonight??? Except for the whole adultery thing...

I wish I was as poised and polished as Alicia Florick.

I wish I had Diane's corner office.

I wish that I could get results from my research and investigations as quickly as Kalinda. (And that I looked as good in a skirt too.)

I wish JUST ONCE that I could stay in a $7800/night hotel suite with a personal butler named Jerome.

Did you watch it?

Got any blog ideas?

Is there a cure for blog block?

Working for your prayer to be answered.

2011-05-16T13:28:00.002-05:00

I just had one of those DUH!!! moments.

Just seconds ago!

I sat down to write a post on "Do you think God is trying to tell me something?"

But I realized that in actuality...God had been answering a prayer by giving me motivation and the process to do it by myself.

I've been trying to get down an effective system for working at home. It is too easy to get distracted by facebook, and laundry, and a 3 3/4 year old Princess that needs another snack. It is very hard to stay focused when so many cool blogs are just a click a way.

Recently, I've been doing a bunch of reading about keeping my home clean. I've been hearing sermons about staying motivated, and being productive, and bouncing back from the holes that our struggles knock us down into. I've read blogs about following your dream, how to knock hours off of your work day, how to do this...how to do that....

I just realized that after months of whining to my friends and family, God has said "Enough Steph...I've given you the answer, but you are actually going to have to get off your butt and do the work!"

Geesh God. Harsh!

Not really.

I just think that I, like many others, want God to solve our problems without us having to put down the remote.

Working from home is a great opportunity for me. It gives me a flexible schedule with the kids, and with my housework. But as it was pointed out this weekend at a training meeting I went to: Flexibility in your work does NOT make it OPTIONAL.

Even when the new episode of In Plain Sight is sitting there on your DVR just a room away!

Just wondering...If you work at home, how do you handle distractions?

Random Thoughts IX

2011-05-15T17:09:00.000-05:00

Apparently I've been living under a rock
I didn't realize how many blogs are actually out there. I guess I knew, but I didn't KNOW. That clarification makes total sense in my head, I've been more than overwhelmed in the last few weeks as I explore the blogosphere. I had about 5 or 6 that I read on a semi-regular basis. That number has quadrupled in recent weeks. As I my blog grows and develops, I'm sure I'm going to find more. I've decided to highlight a couple of new blogs each week.

The first is http://marleeindebt.blogspot.com/
This is a very smart, very funny young woman who is trying to get through Grad School without taking any more loans. But it's not all about that. Scroll back a bit, and read Marlee Vs. Baby. She met her niece, and failed at her attempts to go through life without holding a baby!

The second is http://michaelhyatt.com/
As the Chairman of Thomas Nelson publishers, this guy doesn't need me to promote him. But I can tell you that I had to FORCE myself to shut down the computer last night, because I just couldn't stop going through his archives. I found him because Jon Acuff guest posted over there SURPRISE!! Yet, another Jon Acuff reference! You can read Jon's post here.

It's Biggest Loser Time Again!
First Christian Church in Greenville, IL is hosting a Biggest Loser event again this year. I was a team leader last year, but we didn't all know each other going in, and it wasn't the best experience. I DID loose 23 pounds, but unfortunately I've gained most of it back. ...sigh... This year, there are 7 of us that have decided that we will be a team. And two of them convinced everyone else to train to walk a half-marathon in September. I'm going to do it too, I guess. There will be whining and complaining.

BUT...the fun part is that we all joined myfitnesspal.com. It is a food and exercise tracker, but the fun part is that you have a "wall" like facebook. If you are on this, look me up!! I'm Steph846

Not-So-Shameless Plug
Free shipping on Uppercase Living through the month of May!! You can view the catalog online, and place orders through my website: http://stephaniekearns.uppercaseliving.net/

The world would be a better place if there was more vinyl on it!

School is out soon, and I'm starting to freak out!

Being that I am missing the Mommy gene that makes me want to constantly be surrounded by my kids, I am not looking forward to the prospect of them all being here all day long every day. As they have been pointing out to me, there are only 10 school days left. The bickering has been at an unusually high level in the last week or so. Every May, I say "We will NOT hang around the house all summer! This summer we will go and do stuff!!!" By August, I've realized "I did it again!"

Not this year...

What are you doing this summer with your kids? Got any ideas that are super fun and SUPER CHEAP??

31 Days to Clean!!! Week 2

2011-05-13T15:50:00.002-05:00

I have to start out with a heaping dose of honesty.

This week, I slacked. I was tired, I was overwhelmed with work, I was overwhelmed with clutter, I was overwhelmed with blogging and I let everything go for a few days. Not everything...I worked, and fed children, and did laundry...but I didn't really give this challenge the attention it deserved. So last night...I crammed.

And guess what the last 4 days have been about???

Being lazy.
Being overwhelmed.
Being tired.
Being imperfect.

Don't you just love it when that happens???

So, as I crammed last night, I found all sorts of hidden gems within Sarah Mae's book. Here are just a few of the things that I've been thinking about today.

Being Lazy:
If I had to describe myself, I probably would not use lazy as an adjective. BUT, I have come to realize that over the years, I have regularly lowered my expectations of myself and of my family to the point that I don't put the same amount of effort into maintaining my home as I once did. This is a slippery slope. I used to be so stressed out about the appearance of my home that I would become somewhat crazed when we were going to have company. Now I've gone to the other extreme. I hand a bottle of Greenworks and a roll of paper towels to guests when they walk in the door, and tell them if they want it clean, they should go for it. Not really, but I've thought about it!

Being Overwhelmed:
Baby steps! Baby Steps! Baby Steps! I say that all the time. HELLO?!?!?!? Practice what you preach, Steph! Take one room at a time. Get it done. Do it well. Beats the heck out of doing a half-hearted job on 75% of the house.

I loved that she mentioned flylady.com in this chapter. I LOVE flylady...in theory. I usually can't maintain flylady-style discipline that long, but I regularly go back and do Kelly's Missions. Baby steps!!!

Being Tired:
A body in motion tends to stay in motion. A body on the couch tends to leave a dent and eat cheetos. Nuff said.

Eat right. Sleep enough. Take care of yourself. Get off the computer. After all your daily blog reading, anyway.

Being imperfect:
We are ALL imperfect. Those of us who pretend to be perfect are lying to ourselves and lying to our friends.

"Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.” Harriet Braiker

BUT...the BIGGEST and BEST piece of advice I'm taking from this week is:

GET RID OF 1/2 THE TOYS!!

Sorry Sarge...as you said in Toy Story 3, when it's time to clean and the vacuum comes out, the army guys are the first to go. You have served well...

I HATE Humidity!!!

2011-05-12T07:36:00.000-05:00

We moved to Central Illinois 9 years ago. It was the end of April, and the rainy season. I swear the sun did not shine for the first 3 weeks we lived in Nokomis. Then suddenly...Spring Sprung! The sun started shining, the birds were chirping, it was beautiful out.

I now lived in small town America with a wrap around porch and streets paved with bricks. I had visions of a Norman Rockwell-esque summer in my future. But first, I had to go to Colorado for my brother's graduation from the US Air Force Academy. I was gone for about a week.

On the drive home from Colorado, my husband told me that he put in the window air conditioner units that were left at our new house, and went to Walmart to buy two more. I was a little peeved. It was only June 2nd!! Why in the world would you turn on the AC on June 2nd???? Wuss!!

We pulled up to our house after a 16+ hour drive with me, my parents and my 2 boys, and I got out of the van. And then I remembered...humidity. I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, and it was humid, and I'm sure I whined, but it was nothing like this.

I had experienced it before. I had to take summer school when I went to Eastern Illinois University, and it was horrible. When I wasn't in class, I spent the days inside my dorm in air conditioning. I was so bored that I actually started watching baseball with the guys across the hall, and by the end of the summer even had an opinion on the NBA draft. For me, that is pretty bored, but I was NOT going outside. I was a wuss, but it was oppressive. The sun would shine and bake all day and the air was sticky and my hair was frizzy and I always felt sweaty. Just gross!

So as I stepped out of the van, it all came back to me. What the heck had I done moving back into this area? Is this what hell is like? What is the scientific reasoning behind humidity? Couldn't God have come up with a different solution to the whole atmospheric process? I FEEL STICKY!!!!

Back to the present day...it is May 12th. The humidity is back. We are contemplating putting the AC on today. I still think that it is too soon. But this is just gross.

I don't care if I'm a wuss. I hate feeling sticky.
I don't care if there are large expanses of the world that are much more humid than South-Central Illinois, and they don't have AC. This is about me.
I don't care that 100 years ago, the world survived without AC. I don't live 100 years ago.

OK...I'll stop whining now.

Peter's a Reader

2011-05-10T09:17:00.000-05:00

That just sounds funny.

Stop a moment and say that 3 times fast.

OK...you can stop now.

I love that moment when everything clicks. The sight words, the repetition of letters, sounding words out. Then suddenly it all comes together like magic...there is a wave of a wand, a puff of smoke, and suddenly...they get it. They can read. And they want to read to you. And they want to read to Grandma and Grandpa. And they want to read to you again...and again....and again.

I still get emotional when I drive by the gas station in Litchfield where it "clicked" for my oldest son. The sign said "Pizza" and from that moment on...he could read anything. I should clarify that I get emotional when I remember to look at the gas station and see the pizza sign. It's not like I place candles there or anything. I'm not that creepy.

I enjoyed bragging to the School Secretary last week as I dropped off a Subway lunch INCLUDING Coke Zero, Doritos and a Cookie because my middle son got more than 100 AR Points in the 4th quarter. He would have had more, but there isn't a test for Ranger's Apprentice, Book 10: The Emperor of Nihon-Ja yet...the book he bought with his own money!!

So my youngest son can read now. For real. It's not like the false alarm we had in the fall with his library book about Thanksgiving. I still can't find that stupid book...it cost me $12.28...grrrr He had a few words down, but I had to help him with most of it.

Now, it's all him. He's reading everything now. And because I am a wonderfully nurtuirng mother, I never get aggravated at sitting quietly while he works his way through Let's Celebrate Jesus on Easter for the 74th time. And I'm always full of patience as he sounds his way through the publisher information and table of contents of his camouflage Gideon New Testament. And because I am such an encourager, I experience awe and amazement as he reads me nutrition labels, shampoo bottles and street signs.

3 readers down, 1 to go. I read like a fiend when I was a kid. I read everything I could get my hands on. My mom and I had epic fights over the fact that I wouldn't put a book down, or that she wouldn't let me read her Good Housekeeping before she did. I'm glad that passion for reading was passed down to my sons. I hope that Grace, my 4th and final kid, will get lost in her books someday too.

I Stand By My Post

2011-05-09T10:37:00.000-05:00

I could hardly breathe last Friday morning. I was soooo excited to be guest posting on Stuff Christians Like. I met Jon Acuff on April 12th, and less than a month later, I was getting huge opporitunity to write something that thousands of people would read. My palms were sweating, I was seriously afraid I might cause some water damage on my laptop.

And it went live!! I was #1010.

I cried. Because I always cry. I leak stress out my eyeballs. I was totally excited, and totally amped up, and crying is better than profanity, so I cried. I've accepted this as a character flaw. Moving on...

Then the comments started coming in...

They were not mean.

But they weren't overwhelmingly positive either.

...sigh...

I am a Top Chef junkie. Over and over, when the judges didn't like something, the Cheftestants would say "I stand by my dish."

In my situation, I must say, I stand by my post.

Here is the reality of the situation: Thousands of people read the post, and there were about 120 comments. Not one person said anything mean. Except for the one lady that said it wasn't funny. That's just harsh. But no one was getting all militant on me telling me that I'm the Anti-Christ, so overall...not totally awful.

But a lot didn't get my point.

I have resisted the urge to calculate the percentages. I'm growing as a person.
I resisted the urge to write a lengthy clarification. But if I saw you in person, you heard it.
I resisted the urge to re-write it and make it funnier. That would have just been pathetic, even for me.

It all comes down to this:

You can throw yourself out there and try something terrifying that not EVERYONE gets...or you can spend the next 10 years hiding in your laundry room/office thinking about what might have been. I chose the scarier one. And I'm #1010...

So there!

Random Thoughts VIII

2011-05-08T17:31:00.002-05:00

Random Thoughts...Mother's Day Edition!!
Happy Mother's Day to my Mom Cathy. I love you and hope you enjoyed picking up tar balls on Gulf Coast Beaches this weekend!

Also, my husband has an incredible gift at picking out THE PERFECT cards for most occasions. He outdid himself this morning!! Thanks Tom!

Holy Almond Roca Batman!
My husband gave me some of this for Mother's Day. I've never had it before, which is a very good thing. I love English Toffee covered in chocolate and nuts. It reminded me of this candy store in Glenview, IL that I used to go to. They limited how much you could buy at one time. I remember standing in line at Christmas and being told I could only get a maximum of 3 lbs. (It was for gifts...I wouldn't eat that much by myself...unless I was pregnant!) I googled it and they must have expanded, because they have a website. For the best English Toffee EVER, please go to Cora Lee Candies!!!

Dress for the Job You Want
I was watching the Today show Friday and heard this. The full quote was "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." For some unknown reason, the thought came back to me while I was driving to my son's track meet. Along with the realization that most days I dress as if I don't have a job. Or a family. Or any responsibility whatsoever.

Yoga pants and hair pulled back in a pony tail. That is my uniform. Make up optional, but unlikely. I get the boys off to school, and get to work. Sometimes I don't even change out of my pajamas first.

So my goal this week is to "Dress as if I have a Job." I can work on the forward thinking psychological tricks down the road.

Getting hit on at the Chinese Buffet
I'd be interested to know if Chinese Buffets are popular around the country, or if it is just a central Illinois thing. I had never even heard of one until about 5 years ago. You pay one price and get to eat all the greasy egg rolls, Lo Mein and Chicken on a Stick that you want. The kids love them. This morning, I caved to popular opinion, and we decided to go to one that just opened. Should have chosen Mexican. But anyway...

I'm helping Peter get more Green Beans and this guy walks up to me with a piece of paper in his hand asking me if I'm seeing anyone. I said "Excuse me?" not like..."Who do you think you are???" but more like "Did you actually just say what I thought you said?" I told him, yes I was. He asked if he was here. I said yes he is. I have to admit, I was cracking up. The piece of paper had his phone number on it.

I don't know what caught me off guard more...being hit on in general, or being hit on while scooping up green beans and sweet and sour chicken.

Have a great week...and beware of strange men at the Chinese Buffet.

31 Days to Clean Challenge, Week 1

2011-05-07T08:15:00.002-05:00

I decided to be a part of this challenge, and promote Sarah Mae's book 31 Days to Clean - Having a Martha House the Mary Way for a few reasons:

1. I got the book for free!
2. Theoretically, I can do anything for 31 days.
3. May was coming up, and it has 31 days in it, so it seemed fitting.
4. I wasn't thinking.
5. I have a tendency to commit to things without thinking.
6. My house always feels like a wreck, and I'm tired of it.
7. I secretly want to look that cute vacuuming in a pink dress.

So, I'm 7 days in, and I must be completely honest and admit that I have not given this the 100% attention I intended. Or even 50%. It's more like a solid 32%.

I will do better.

But here is an overview:

The book is broken down into 31 sections. Each section has a Mary Challenge (to create a comfortable home) and a Martha Section (to clean it).

I found that the Martha tasks are a bit lengthy, and if you decide to take this challenge on, plan on dedicating an hour or so a day on them. I will admit to you right now that I only did the first one. The rest of my life kept getting in the way, and I had a pretty busy week. (That being said, I always have life getting in the way of a clean house, which led to the desire to do this challenge in the first place.)

The very first day, the Mary Task was to come up with a Mission Statement for my home. Here's what I came up with:

I want my home to be a place where it is evident that the family who lives here:

-loves each other and takes care of each other.

-appreciates and takes care of the possessions they have been blessed with.

-respects the time and energy invested in keeping the home clean and organized.

-always welcome friends.

I also completed the day 4 Mary Task with little to no effort, because it was to create an environment where friends would be feel welcome and comfortable...a place where they could put their feet up. Well, it was Bible Study on Wednesday, and those girls do that anyway. But that is because of my 3 visit rule. I will serve you your first three times you visit, but after that you have to get your own coffee. (Unless I'm in an especially cranky or sarcastic mood...then I'll bring you something as an act of penance.)

I like that the Mary tasks, and the readings each day, really make you look at WHY you want a clean home and why it ISN'T that way already. It examines priorities, and helps you identify your goals and motivations.

The Martha tasks are a bit ambitious. Day one was writing a supply list...check. Easy Peasy. But the rest of the week went on to scrubbing kitchen cabinet fronts, and washing window treatments. I wasn't prepared for that much of a time commitment.

BUT, now that I've written down my priorities (Day 5)...I'm going to make time.

An Out of Blog Experience...

2011-05-06T08:01:00.002-05:00

Today, I am not here.... I am here!!!!!!!!!!!!

I took a trip...I giant leap if you will...

All it took was a crazy idea, a lot of prayer, and these:

Thanks Jon Acuff, for giving me an ridiculously fun/terrifying opportunity today!

Speaking of big days...please go check out http://deborahpiersondill.blogspot.com/ today. My former next door neighbor is a home schooling Mom by day...Novelist at night!! (Super powers...I tell you!!) Her 2nd book Return to Me is released today!!

What's Next?

2011-05-05T08:15:00.003-05:00

The West Wing is my favorite TV program of all time.

I loved the cast. I loved the behind the scenes aspect of the program. I loved the stories. I loved the politics. I loved that it showed both sides of the aisle. I loved the writing. Especially the writing.

I'm pretty sure when God was planning the world, he had a dilemma... Aaron Sorkin. "When exactly do I put Aaron Sorkin on the planet? Do I use him early on, and have him help out Moses and ghost-write part of the Pentateuch? Do I have him handle a few books in the New Testament? Or...Do I wait and use him in the 20th/21st centuries and use him on TV? Hmmm...." That's how good a writer he is. At least in English. I don't know how good he would have been in Greek or Hebrew, so maybe that is why God saved him for screenplays in our time. (Even though there was a certain Apostle who had that whole run-on-sentance thing happening...not that I'm pointing fingers or questioning God's editor or anything)

Anyway...one of the re-occurring phrases used during the 7 seasons of my favorite show was "What's next?" The staff would successfully struggle through getting a bill passed, or a military crisis, or some other sort of White House-ish dilemma. They would pat themselves on the back for a moment, then President Bartlet would ask "What's next?" Because running a country wasn't about any single law or military operation. It was a constant, never ending series of challenges that needed to be met.

Today, I find myself wondering "What's next?" because tomorrow is a big day for me.

Tomorrow, I will guest post on Stuff Christians Like.

A few weeks ago, I decided to plot and plan and pull a crazy stunt to get Jon Acuff's attention, and ask him if I could guest post. And he said to send him something. So I did. And he liked it. And he is posting it. Tomorrow.

It looks like I will henceforth be known as #1010.

AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Typically, my crazy plans and schemes and attention seeking behavior do not produce results so quickly, so now I have to figure out 'What's Next?'

I'm not quite sure what I should do next, in pursuit of my Big Dream. Do I keep blogging? Do I start to ~~stalk~~ reach out to someone else and ask for help in pursuing my next few goals? What ARE my next few goals?? How does one even become a Speaker? Is there an app for it??? Too many unknowns. Most of them scary!!!!

While I ponder 'What's Next?', I need to do something more important. I want to thank you. There are a bunch of you who read regularly, and leave comments, or send messages, or 'like' my links on facebook, or email telling me how you are praying for me. You don't know how much that means to me. I really appreciate you taking a few minutes out of your day to read the typed-out ramblings from my cluttered mind. You have been kind. And I have been blessed. ~~I will remember you all when I become ridiculously famous.~~ I really Really REALLY appreciate it! I also apologize in advance for being a bit wiggy the next few days as I deal with my near-fame experience.

So, check out SCL tomorrow...let me know what you think. In the meantime, I am going to attempt to keep my excessive hand sweat from ruining my keyboard, and my hyperventilating to a minimum as I ponder...

What's Next?

Boston Cream Pie (or...Broken Carbohydrate Promises)

2011-05-03T16:10:00.019-05:00

So I have this neighbor, and for some reason, I promised to make him a Boston Cream Pie. I don't even remember why at this point. All I know is that I promised it to him months ago, and I haven't come through.

I didn't lie. I fully intended to make him a pie. But I wanted to do it the right way. I wanted to make a real pie, from a recipe, and not from a box. I was not going to cheat, I was going to impress. So I searched for a recipe. I found one that wasn't too complicated, but not instant pudding and a cake mix either.

I was going to have to make custard. Custard is scary. You have to heat milk, and not get that gross skin...and then you have to temper eggs, and not scramble them. And you need a vanilla bean. And I live in the middle of nowhere, and we don't have vanilla beans. And then there is a ganache. I've done ganache before, but it means more heating of milk. And then a sponge cake...I've never baked a cake from scratch. I don't think I can handle the stress!

OK...let's stop for a moment and ponder the question: Why is it called Boston Cream Pie if it is not actually a Pie? I'm sure there is some explanation with historical and cultural significance, but I'm not researching it right now. This whole pie thing has caused me enough stress and anxiety. It's a cake. It's a cake with fancy creamy stuff inside and chocolate on top.

All this stress comes down to the fact that I made a promise that my baking skills may not have been able to deliver. So I stalled, and procrastinated, and came up with excuses, and put him off and put him off.

I do that quite often. Not just with baking.

I make commitments without having the time to be able to fulfill them.

I take on jobs that I'm not confident I have the skills to complete.

I put expectations on myself that are too high, and I've caved to my inner perfectionist. That stupid inner perfectionist that chooses to hide and do nothing, instead of doing something not as good as planned.

But anyway...

I actually did make one attempt at this stupid pie already. And I ruined the custard. I didn't cook it right, and it never thickened. I must admit, it made an OUTSTANDING ice cream base. I even borrowed an ice cream maker from the neighbor in question.

At some point later this week, I'm going to try again. I may look for an even easier recipe. One that will not cause so much stress and anxiety. I'm going to tell my inner perfectionist to shut up. I'm going to make a dessert that tastes good, but will probably not land me a spot on Top Chef Just Desserts. It's about having our neighbors down to visit, and hang out and laugh anyway...not about the ~~cake~~ pie.

I don't know why I'm making myself crazy over this. This guy will eat any crappy old dessert I put in front of him anyway.

Mixed Emotions

2011-05-02T21:53:00.001-05:00

I've been struggling today with how I feel about the death of Osama Bin Ladin.

Facebook was covered with people making joyous comments about it. But I didn't feel like celebrating.

TV had images of baseball fans chanting U-S-A, and crowds celebrating around the white house. I was embarrassed.

I was trying to figure out why it bothered me so much. I'm not a fan of Bin Ladin. I was relieved that he was no longer a personal threat to my country. I probably would have supported the death penalty if he was tried in a court and found guilty.

So why was I cringing every time I saw celebratory comments? Why was I looking away every time I saw crowds cheering on TV?

I finally realized what it was.

I was 10 when the US Embassy was taken over by a group of Iranian students, and 66 Americans, marines and embassy staff, were taken hostage.

Those images have been burned into my memory, and I don't think I'll ever forget them. I couldn't understand why they hated us so much, why they took our people hostage, and how they could be celebrating when they just did something so horrible. I'm pretty sure it was the first time I ever saw a flag burned on TV as well. I remember thinking that I was so glad I was born in the United States, because we would never act that way.

Last night, when the crowds started gathering and cheering, I realized that we would. And we did. And all the world would see it. Within minutes. Within seconds.

I recognize the significance of Bin Ladin's death. Again, I am relieved with the knowledge that he himself is no longer a threat to our country. Too many innocents have been lost because of his misguided leadership, and his twisted philosophy. I am proud of our military, and their ability to persevere and get the bad guy...no matter how long it takes.

I just can't celebrate.

Thank you Packy and Cheryl for posting this quote on facebook tonight. It gave me the courage to put down my thoughts.

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that"

— Martin Luther King Jr (or possibly not...a beautiful quote anyway)

Random Thoughts VII

2011-05-01T16:36:00.000-05:00

Biodegradable Flatware Sucks
I hate to say it, but I can't go green to the extent of buying biodegradable flatware. The hotel we stayed at last weekend used it. It is too flexible.  The forks and the spoon bent while I was using them. The knives didn't cut, and you know how difficult those hotel waffles are to cut...

I'm proud that Hampton Inn has taken a step to go green and use compost-able products.  I'm sure the products from Taterware cost more than Styrofoam, and I'm glad they have chosen to make an investment in these products. I know that for the 2 days we spent in a hotel, we created a ridiculous amount of garbage. I think the plates and bowls were great. The cutlery needs some revision though...

I hate running with a passion that can not be described with the English language
But I have friends that are runners, and my son is a runner, and I am currently a overweight semi-sedentary slob. So I'm going to start the C25K program with Tom this week. And this is the last you are going to hear about it for 9 weeks. C25K stands for Couch to 5k. It is a 9 week program that will get me from hating running and not being able to do it to hating running while I do it for 3 miles. This is not an exercise blog, and it is not a weight loss blog.  Running will make me whine without ceasing. So...I'll tell you how it went 9 weeks from now.

31 Days to Clean Home-Maker's Challenge
My house is a cluttered mess. I have 4 kids, and I'm tired of them not helping keep things picked up. I'm also tired of using them as an excuse for a trashed house. I often feel like I have to make so many decisions about other people's lives every day (what they will eat, what they will wear, what they will be allowed to watch on MY tv) . Every once in a while, I need someone to give me some guidelines.

Anyway, I downloaded a copy of 31 Days to Clean - Having a Martha House the Mary Way, and I am going to try it. I've only done a brief review of it so far. I had too many things to pick up before my 3am Royal Wedding Viewing Party.   The book appears to be more than: Today is Day 13, go clean your toilet. It looks into the emotional and spiritual aspects of why our homes can get untidy.It starts today, and I'll probably post about it on Saturdays. Lucky you.

For more about spiritual cleaning, check out http://princesschrisy.wordpress.com/

Angry Birds!!!!
If you haven't downloaded this stupid-ridiculous-annoying-highly-addictive app for your phone...DON'T.
If you have downloaded it, DON'T let your kids play it.
If you have downloaded it, and your kids play, DON'T tell your spouse to download it too.
If you have downloaded it, and your kids play, and your spouse plays it, always keep it on MUTE.
If you have downloaded it, and your kids play, and your spouse plays it, and they won't keep it on MUTE...just chant "serenity now...serenity now...serenity now"

Thank you Yoplait!!
A huge shout out to Yoplait for coming out with Simply GoGurt. It is yogurt in a tube that I have never been able to buy before because of Peter's Red40 sensitivity (in spite of pleading and begging from my little ones).   I will save my rant about how food companies think kids won't eat something unless it's neon and tastes like bubble gum for a later post. Simply GoGurt has no artificial colors or flavorings. Click on the link above for a coupon. Hey, Red40 makes my kid the Tazmanian Devil. It probably isn't great for your kid too.

Purple Baby Jelly Flip Flops!

A 6 month old baby had these flip flops on at church this morning. If the chubby feet, painted toesies and adoreble shoesies don't make you smile...you must be dead inside!

Have a great week! Big news coming Thursday, May 5th!!

My favorite parts of The Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T12:28:00.003-05:00

I am one of the billions of people that watched the Royal Wedding this morning while it was happening. I did it 30 years ago when William's parents got married. Hopefully I will be able to do it 30 years from now when William's child gets married. I am not ashamed.

Here are some of may favorite parts of the wedding:

Trifle: Made it myself, and didn't do too bad, I must say.
Friends in jammies at 3am
Schooling an actual-real-live-British citizen on the ins and outs of the Modern Monarchy whilst she was sitting in my living room.
Beatrice and Eugenie's hats...I mean SERIOUSLY*?
Prince William
Kate
Pippa's dress: I really imagined that Kate would be wearing a more dramatic version of Pippa's dress. She looked gorgeous!
The Middleton Men's troubles with ties.
Groom's cake: Crystal brought it. Yummo!
Princess Catherine
The processional back to Buckingham Palace
Seeing Bear Grylls in the crowd walking up to the Palace.
The fact that the people who were waiting at Buckingham Palace all morning didn't riot when the people walking from Trafalgar Square got to get up to the gate first.
Princess Catherine saying "Oh WOW!" when she stepped out onto the balcony.
The first kiss.
The second kiss.
Leaving the palace:

I mean, how cool is that??? and JU5TWED on the back??? LOVE LOVE LOVE it! I love how all the people on the Today show started freaking out about it too!!

I loves me a good Royal Wedding. And a special thank you to my friends Emma, Stacy, Crystal and Noel that succumbed to my whining and showed up at 3am.

*Proof that the Project Runway judges are on crack half the time:

Nina Garcia had tweeted that she loved Beatrice and Eugenie's hats made by Phillip Tracey's, and then deleted it!

#($*&@^!!!

2011-04-28T08:44:00.000-05:00

I kind-of, sort-of, might have a teensy-tiny-little problem with profanity.

I sometimes (when I'm amped up, or over tired, or upset, or around a group of rowdy friends) have a trucker's mouth*.

I blame my mother.

No, my mother doesn't have a trucker's mouth. But I DO remember a conversation with her many many moons ago, during my formative years, when she said her favorite swear word was s**t, simply because it could be used as any form of grammar. A noun, verb, adjective, adverb...doesn't matter. It works. She didn't use it all that often. Except maybe when she was amped up, or over tired or upset or around a group of harassing children. I'm always shocked when I hear her swear, it doesn't happen that often.

So my trucker's mouth really doesn't have anything to do with my Mom. (Sorry for bringing you into this Mom).

I get called out on my mouth all the time by my friends. Especially my over-use of the term "OMG." I try. I really do. But I forget, and have to start trying again.

About 13 years ago, shortly after I recommitted my life to Christ , I was driving home from work one morning and I heard Joni Eareckson Tada on the radio. She was talking about one of her struggles with sin. But her struggle was not with dropping the occasional F-bomb or taking the Lord's name in vain. The struggle she was talking about that day was with her thoughts. Sinful thoughts. WTH?

I was crushed. Here I was, a woman raised in the church who had just recommitted her life to following Christ. And I had a vocabulary that could rival most Marines. Realizing that I didn't just have a problem with profanity, and anger, and all that other junk...but also with MY THOUGHTS!!! Ugh...it was too much.

I don't know if it was that day, or shortly after that, but I was reading a passage in Ephesians. (4:17-24 specifically) I had read those words many times during my life. But that day, I read the commentary in my study bible. It said:

...Paul told the Ephesians to leave behind the old life of sin, since they were followers of Christ. Living the Christian life is a process. Although we have a new nature, we don't automatically think all good thoughts and express all right attitudes when we become new people in Christ. But if we keep listening to God, we will be changing all the time. As you look back over last year, do you see a process of change for the better in your thoughts, attitudes and actions? Although change may be slow, it comes as you trust God to Change you.

I needed that bit of grace that morning. I needed to be reminded that following Christ is a refining process. And even if I follow Him 50 more years, I will still be finding areas of sin in my life.

Because we have all sinned...

It doesn't matter if we are a serial-axe-murdering-rapist or a church-lady-with-profanity-issues. His gift of grace will cleanse us all.

*Not all truckers swear like Marines.

31 Days to Clean!!!

2011-04-27T21:25:00.000-05:00

Get the book 31 Days to Clean FREE today!!

I'm actually very excited about getting a copy of this book, and I plan to review it. I find that part of my whole spinning around and getting no-where problem is because I can't find the balance between my Mary Side and my Martha Side.

If this book helps to motivate and inspire me...I might offer Sarah Mae my eternal love and gratitude. If anything, I hope to someday be able to fit in a cute pink dress like that!!

9 Years in Nowhere

2011-04-26T11:29:00.000-05:00

Nine years ago today, I woke up at my Mom's house after an exhausting few weeks of packing. The moving truck was finally loaded at 11:00 the night before, and I drove the hour from my now-former-house to my Mom & Dad's to sleep. That morning, I loaded up my car and my 2 boys and drove off to the middle of nowhere. Tom was already on his way there.

It wasn't actually the middle of nowhere. It had a name. The name means Daughter of the Moon, apparently. But life in Nokomis, IL after being born and raised in the suburbs of Chicago felt like it was the middle of nowhere.  Packing up our family and changing our lives was a huge leap of faith. There were no stop lights, no McDonald's and NO TARGET! (the horror) It felt nearly primitive. (Have I mentioned before that I tend to exaggerate?)

There are thousands and thousands of things that I could tell you about being transplanted from the land of strip malls and Mobil stations, to a land filled with Caseys and 20 minute treks to Super Walmart for affordable groceries. I miss living close to family, and I miss living close to Target, and I desperately miss living close to a Caribou Coffee.

But I can tell you 1 thing FOR SURE!!

I wouldn't change a thing.

See, prior to that huge cut in pay and huge change in lifestyle, I rarely saw my husband. He had a 1 1/2 hour drive to work everyday...if it was a good day. In Nokomis, that dropped to 1 1/2 minutes.   He now got to see our boys more than just in the morning when they woke up, before he went to work.

Our family got to actually be a family. It also grew...unexpectedly...twice.

Almost 3 years ago, we left Nokomis to move to Greenville. We packed up our 3 boys and 1 girl and moved to another small town. (this one slightly larger...2 Casey's and a McDonalds...among other things)

These 9 years in "Nowhere" have given us opportunities that we wouldn't have imagined.   We took on roles in our lives that we never would have felt equipped for previously.

It has given us friendships we would not have thought possible. We have an extended family of friends that I will treasure forever.

It has given us challenges we never dreamed we would be able to overcome. We not only met those challenges, we surprised ourselves with the outcomes.

If you ever feel like God might be telling you to pack up and move to the middle of nowhere...pray A LOT first...and then go for it. Just make sure you know how far away the Target is...

Bookended by Surly Teenagers

2011-04-25T09:07:00.000-05:00

Went to the Easter service yesterday morning at Metro-Vandalia. Unfortunately, we all didn't get to go to church together. JD was sick, so Tom stayed home.

Princess Grace wore a pretty pink dress and ugly pink shoes. There was no talking her out of the shoes, and no better options available, because we could only find one of any other pair of shoes.

Peter wore his new Lego Star Wars T-shirt that came in his Easter basket. I was pretty proud because as he was gorging himself with Reeses Peanut Butter Eggs, he informed me that Easter was about Jesus not being dead anymore, not about candy. (Whew...minor parenting success!!)

Nathan...came with. He contemplated how to bring on a fever to get out of going. He wasn't quick enough, so I got him in the car before he could figure out a way to bring on illness.

So I checked in the little kids at Adventure land, and we headed to the "sanctuary". I know it's the gym, but I still think of it as a sanctuary...I'm weird that way. We sat down in our seats, and I tried to make small talk with my eldest to fill in the 9 minutes that we had to wait since we got there early. Shortly before the service started, a Mom & Daughter sat next to us. The daughter was clearly as thrilled to be out of bed as my son. I had teenage angst on both sides of me. You could almost smell the disgruntled attitude. During the greeting time, I asked her if she was here against her will, and she confirmed my suspicion. So I just prayed. First that I wouldn't let their bad attitudes rub off on me, and 2nd that they would get SOMETHING out of the service.

I remember being forced to go to church as a teenager. I am ashamed to say that instead of listening to the sermon, I killed time doing one of two things: Planning how I would decorate the chruch for my wedding or how I would spend the money if I won the lottery. I did that every Sunday for many years. I'm probably going to have to give up my "Church Lady" membership card for admitting that. So be it. I went to church because my parents expected it. I had times of spiritual growth during my teenage years, but it never was because of the church service. That came from youth group or the mission trip I went on with Teen Missions International. (Shout out Alaska 8426)

There comes a point in every parent's life where you realize that your children will need to make thier own decisions about their lives. Church and thier faith being one of the biggies. I don't care if my kids vote Republican or Democrat. I will hate it, but I will understand if they decide to move far away. I will respect and love the person they choose for a spouse. I think I will be devestated if they blow off Christ, but I will understand that this is their decision.

Christ himself understood that not everyone would choose Him.

But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it
Matthew 7:14

This awareness doesn't mean that I'm going to cave and let him not go to church though. I'm totally going to play the "If you live under my roof..." card for as long as I can. This isn't a power struggle thing...it's because I know that 10 years down the road, he might look back and realize that there is something missing from his life, and the seeds that were planted in "rocky soil" might start to sprout. Besides, in 10 years, my youngest will be the surly teenager that I'm dragging kicking and screaming. I hope she doesn't still have mis-matched shoes...

Random Thoughts VI

2011-04-24T21:18:00.001-05:00

Naps are good:
I have taken a nap each of the last 3 days. Naps are good. I highly recommend them. I don't take them often enough. I'm 95% sure that the only reason I did this weekend is because Tom was home too. That way, there was another parent around in case of fire, or flood, or granola bar wrappers that need to be opened.

Reeses Peanut Buttercups are a gift from God:
Seriously....chocolate...peanut butter...together...yum!! It doesn't matter what form...miniatures, big cups, eggs, bunnies...milk chocolate...dark chocolate!! They are especially yummy when they are given as gifts...or stolen from Easter baskets.

Free Paint is a gift from Valspar
You should check out my friend Beth's blog, Recipes, Deals Etc. She has all sorts of stuff over there, including links for various freebies. I love paint. I love cheap paint. Clarification, I love quality paint that I can buy cheaply. Valspar is actually my favorite brand. I usually buy it from the True Value here in Greenville, but they also sell it at Lowes. Anyway...Valspar had a give-away last weekend. I picked a color and got it in the mail on Friday. A little jar of paint, a little roller and tray. So adoreably cute, and so incredibly free. I realize now that I'm probably gloating and rubbing it in. I'm sorry. This is why you should check out that blog...

Good Sunday TV coming back next week!
Finally, no more Swamp People or Axe Men or Toothless TV. Next week...Law & Order Criminal Intent is back. Also In Plain Sight. This is good news.

Have a good week. Happy Easter!

And as he stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His, and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ